The Silent Word

Trying to Pick a Headshot

2011-03-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Long Time, No... Uh... Write?

2010-12-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

So, it's been awhile since I posted on this blog. With all the other blogging I'm doing, you'd think I could spare some time once in awhile to just pop by and post? Apparently not.

I did want to let you know a couple of important things that have happened in my life lately.

** I got a request for a full submission of my Steampunk novel. I'm sending that in as we speak.

** I got a request for a full submission of New Nineveh (inspy contemp, Genesis), which as been renamed to Once a Smokejumper after the editor who requested it said she'd never be able to sell that title. Very well. :-) I like the new title better, anyway.

** I sent Once A Smokejumper in to the Golden Heart.

** I finaled in the Beacon contest, with two manuscripts. Both currently complete. Both waiting for an editor/agent request.

** I finished two novels during NaNoWriMo (Yes, I'm Psychotic).

** And... I finally heard back from Harlequin. The editor sent me the absolute best rejection letter I could possibly have gotten. She essentially said that she loved my voice and my writing, and wanted to see something else. NN has some really glaring plot difficulties that my CPs pointed out to me, but I didn't want to listen to them. I'm here to tell you, they were right. :-) And the editor backed them up. I'm in the middle of fixing them, as we speak, and am going to fix them before I send them to Carina. But I'm really just hoping to get a chance to get that book published someday. It won't be with Harlequin, which is fine with me. Because the next one might. :-) I'm nothing if not an optimist, eh?

Oh, and it looks like my job will be going full time next year. Perhaps not right away in January, but at some point after that. Maybe in May. Or September. We're not sure. But for sure, next year sometime. So yay! I'm excited about that. I love my job, my staff is amazing, and the work we're doing is glorifying to God. There is no better job to have.

God is good, in short. :-)

Review: Wonders Never Cease

2010-10-15T19:34:00.000-06:00

Wonders Never Cease
by Tim Downs

Genre: Contemporary Fiction
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Cost: $9.68

What I Liked:
This was a completely unpredictable story. Every twist of this plot was equally as strange and unexpected as the one before. For a non-thriller, there was an awful lot going on in these pages.

What might seem like an innocuous experience, a little girl telling a "story" during show and tell, turns into a full-fledged parental nightmare. Only both her "parents" aren't being present to her troubles. Her mother's boyfriend, Kemp, has decided to cash in on this little girl's experience, and on the tragedy of another person. And he hopes and prays that no one finds out.

But there's more going on than meets the eye. And I love books like that.

Honestly, it was a little hard to suspend my belief that a publisher and an agent and a writer would all go along with this crazy idea just to make a buck. Especially when they're already making money. I know the writer knows what he's talking about, so I tried to suspend my disbelief, but it just sounded so strange. And the plot about the starlet coming out of her coma... it was... well, again I know it's fiction, so the point is that it didn't really happen. It just seemed really strange.

I didn't really like any of the characters, except Matt--the girl's teacher--and even then, when I first met him, I didn't like him. I kept thinking that Natalie, to be able to stay in a relationship with a guy like Kemp, had to be just an idiot. But the ending was satisfying, and I appreciated that comeuppance was gotten in the end, at least for some of those who deserved it.

All in all, I think the writing is good, and I certainly enjoyed the uniqueness of the plot. It's a good, well-themed, inspirational, nicely-tied-up book to read.

Book Blurb:
It's a brilliant plan, if Kemp McAvoy says so himself--and Kemp never hesitates to point out his own brilliance. Kemp is a night nurse for a beautiful but aging movie star in a medically induced coma. And with the help of her agent and a struggling young publisher, he's concocted a can't-fail scheme that will make them all rich.

Olivia Hayden is about to receive a heavenly visitor--an angel with a message for all humankind. All it takes is a blinding light and little adjustment of her meds, and when she awakes she'll think it was real--and they'll have an instant best-selling book.

The scheme seems foolproof. All they have to do for it to work is be good angels and stay out of trouble. But Kemp McAvoy has never been good at staying out of trouble--and he doesn't realize there may be out-of-this-world consequences for impersonating an angel.

From award-winning author Tim Downs comes this warm-hearted story of mistaken identity and unlikely redemption that will have you both laughing and looking at life from a higher perspective.

My 2010 Reading List: Update

2010-09-25T00:01:00.001-06:00

Okay, I know I said no updates, but I couldn't help myself. Since I keep track of what I read every year, and I keep a journal from September 1st to August 31st, I've recently closed out one year. But back in January, I made a list of the 30 books I wanted to read this year. Here's been my progress.

* A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute - DONE

* Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian - DONE

* The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher

* A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth

* Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome

* Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman

* Mort, Terry Pratchett

* The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton

* Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

* Perfume, Patrick Süskind

* Black Lyon, Jude Deveraux - DONE

* Devil's Bride, Stephanie Laurens - DONE

* Devil in Winter, Lisa Kleypas - DONE

* Once Upon a Knight, Jackie Ivie - DONE

* The Duke & I, Julia Quinn - DONE

* A Gentle Feuding, Johanna Lindsey - DONE

* A Knight's Vow, Lindsey Townsend - DONE

* Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake, Sarah MacLean

* Highland Warrior, Monica McCarty - DONE

* Highland Rebel, Judith James

* The Sensation, Rebecca Flanders

* Angel's Wings, Anne Stuart

* Songs in the Whirlwind, June Masters Bacher

* Water for Elephants, Sarah Gruen - DONE

* Highland Dragon, Kimberly Killion - DONE

* Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters, Ben H. Winters - DONE

* Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris - DONE

* The Highlander's Touch, Karen Marie Moning - DONE

* Obstacles Welcome, Ralph De La Vega - DONE

* Ministries of Mercy, Timothy Keller

So I'm at 16/30. Not sure I'm going to get through the other 14, given the size of my TBR pile, and that's To Be Reviewed, not To Be Read. Lots of books to get through. I do want to get through a couple more of these BBC books, which are about the first ten in the list. But we'll see.

I also really want to read this Tim Keller book. And hopefully review it here. We'll see how that goes, too. If wishes were horses, I'd get a lot more books read. And written. Anyway, there have been some gems in this pile. And some duds. My favorite has probably been the KM Moning book. It set me off reading the rest of those books in her Highlander series. So that's a good thing. Great writer.

What about you? Read anything good this year?

Life Gets In the Way

2010-09-22T21:51:00.000-06:00

It has been a *long* time since I've posted on this blog. I'm sure most of you thought I'd given up, eh? Well, you guessed... right. It just wasn't intentional.

You see, I have several other blogs that I maintain. I review for four review websites, I have four additional blogs (two group blogs I manage and two personal blogs), in addition to trying to write actual books. It's just unreal. Some of these blogs, I will never post the addresses for on here. You won't want to read them, honestly. But some of them I might.

Suffice to say, it's hard for me to keep up with everything.

So this poor little blog, my Silent Word, drops to the bottom of my Blogger Dashboard and just sits there. And eventually, I stop wanting to update it. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because I'm not quite sure where to start.

I guess I'll say, if you were hoping this was an update post, I hate to disappoint.

This is an I-refuse-to-do-an-update-post update post. That is to say, there's plenty of stuff to update on. I've got two full requests on my steampunk, the Genesis finals have been announced, Harlequin has the full of my inspy, I'm in several contests, and I'm querying agents for the first time. But that's not why I'm writing this post.

I'm writing this post so that the Silent Word Blog can go back up into the rotation on my Blogger dashboard. So I'm going to essentially skip everything that has happened between July 24th and September 23rd. Instead, I'm going to just pick up here. And the next time I blog on here, I'll have something interesting to say. It will not be an update post. It will probably be some annoying opinion post or some kind of research post that I felt compelled to do. But I will not update. I promise.

Or, if I do, it might be a Day Zero list update. We'll see.

Anyway, good to see you back, Silent Word. Perhaps we'll see each other again very soon. Much love.

Thanks to Clint for This...

2010-07-24T20:12:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Clint for this fun "quiz". I actually used part of my novel, so that's a good sign. I'm going to go back and do it with a big of blog posting, just to see what it's like. This was fun. :-)

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Big News

2010-07-24T20:08:00.000-06:00

Big news, Silent Word followers--trusted friends.

I had a Harlequin editor request a full read of my Genesis-finaling manuscript! :-) Of course, I'm thrilled, and finding myself more and more excited as the days go on since the call.

If you want to read all about the call, you can go to my foodie romance blog, but suffice to say, it was a fantastic experience getting that call, even though my heart probably stopped for a moment.

Thank you, especially, to my friends who read this blog. You are my first and best supporters! (And my family, most of you... haha!) Love to you all

Googoo for Gaga

2010-07-11T18:32:00.000-06:00

We just finished a week of Young Singers Club. We had younger kids doing a Disney-themed week, and the older kids doing a Glee-themed week. Both groups had a ton of fun. I thought it was a blast.

For our Glee songs, we picked:

"Don't Stop Believing"
"Lean On Me"
"Defying Gravity"
"True Colors"
"Bad Romance"

Cassidy Cook, our choreographer, did a great routine for the Gaga that I wish I could have recorded. But I had to run sound, so it was a lot more difficult to do anything else during the actual show. But I did manage to get some pictures of the girls during one of the breaks. So I'm including one of them.

These girls were goo-goo for Gaga. They adored Bad Romance. And they went all-out. They did costumes, make-up, full choreography, an introduction skit, and big attitude. It was a lot of fun to see. These kids really came alive through the week, and they were a fantastic group of girls to coach.

Now, Cassidy and I have to get ready for Mamma Mia/Mary Poppins that will be happening next week. I'm super excited for it. But I know it's also going to be a hard week. I hope we can have as much fun with Abba as we did with Gaga. :-)

I'm sure we can!

Young Singers Club: Glee

2010-07-09T07:48:00.000-06:00

Empowering Students Through Musical Performance

This week at Young Singers Club, I have been working with the Glee kids. We've also had a Disney camp going at the same time, but I haven't spent much time with them. I've been working with Cassidy Cook as a choreographer, and we've been having a great time.

Tonight is our recital, so today, we're prepping for a big gig. It's intense. It's a lot of fun, but it's very intense. Most of these kids have never had a gig like this before that they've had to work this hard to produce. A lot of them have some kind of performance experience, but it's been sort of low-key. So this is a new and intense experience for them. But I think it'll be good for them.

I've been seeing them grow through the week, but the most interesting part has been the way they've sort of grown into different people in their personal selves. Our motto is "empowering students through musical performance" and we use performance skills to help the kids have fun and to become more confident and engaged in their lives. It's been a great experience. And it's great to see that what we want to happen is really happening.

Anyway, the recital is tonight at The Rock. The Glee girls have been working hard on their songs, and especially on some difficult choreography for Lady Gaga's Bad Romance (which, as a romance author, I find very ironic). It should be a fun show!

Happy Fourth of July

2010-07-04T03:59:00.009-06:00

Just wanted to take a moment to say Happy Fourth of July to everyone. I have a super busy day today (church, then set-up for camp, then picnic, then prep for camp, then sleepy-time). We're not having a big family gathering together today, which will be new.

Years past, we've had the entire family here. Grilled brats, potato salad, baked beans. It's been a tradition for a long time. Last year, Bailey (Kristopher & Andrea's daughter) held her first sparkler. Kevin was here. The year before, Garrys were here. It was great.

This year, everyone's gone. So no big party. But I'm going to Kath & Brian's instead. I'll bring corn salad. It'll be good-times-noodle-salad. Fun.

But I did want to say Happy Fourth. Happy Independence Day. Please don't watch that movie. But have a happy day!

Big Changes (NEWS)

2010-07-03T12:23:00.001-06:00

Wow, there have been lots of changes in my life lately. Just wanted to do a quick post to update everyone (friends of mine) who read my blog. Here's the big news in my life lately.

For those of you who don't know, I've spent the last nine months writing (wait for it...) fiction. Yes, fiction. It's been a roller coaster. Finaled in the Genesis Contest (the National Christian Fiction Writing contest), which has given me inroads to a lot of publishing houses. Should have news on that very soon.
** I've finaled in three more writing contests. Two with the Genesis Finalist ms, and one with my Scottish historical! They're all RWA chapter contests, but the people reading the entries are still editors and agents, just like the Genesis. (Being a chapter contest means that I probably had less competition than in the Genesis, but the final ms's all still go to big-time agents and editors, regardless.)

** I've finished two more books. Should be editing them this month, in addition to finishing the re-write on my Genesis ms and completing that ms for RWA Nationals, where I have a meeting with a Love Inspired editor and a New York agent.

** I've started teaching writing classes through RWA chapters. Should be more information coming on that soon. (In case you want to sign up for one, haha!) :-) Teaching World-building, food writing, grammar... lots of things.

** I'm in a new band. Five friends and I have started a band called "Not That Serious". I have a feeling our name will change after not too long... although we're really not that serious. :-) We did our first gig on June 26th. Will likely be doing another one at L&B sometime in the fall. And will be doing another gig at Christus in the Fall as well. I'll keep you all posted. Probably through my blog and Facebook.

** I've started teaching summer performing arts camps with two very good friends of mine. It's a program that was started in Santa Barbara, and we're borrowing curriculum and aligning ourselves with them. It's basically a plant of that camp. Here's our website. We're doing Glee/Disney next week, and Cassidy Cook will be joining me for the Movement/Production rotation. Should be VERY exciting!

** I've taken a new job. I'm the new Director of Music at Springhill Presbyterian Church. Here's our website. There's three of us that are new staff who are not on the Staff Page yet, but look for us to be on there very soon. :-) A new community director, a director of music ministries, and a site/youth/young adult director. Stephen (the new site/youth/ya director) is a friend of Tim & Nicole. It's a small world after all.

Other than that, I'm writing most days. When I'm not at camp. I'm going to RWA Nationals in July. Going to ACFW Nationals in September. Going to Baltimore to see Kristy & Robert's new baby in September. Still doing Strengths coaching on a very limited basis. Reading and reviewing books, still. Doing lots of different things. Got some good feedback and encouragement at my Seminary reunion. Love those peeps.

Looking forward to the end of summer. :-) But very much looking forward to ORLANDO in July!! Mickey Mouse land, here I come!

Contest Final

2010-05-14T05:39:00.001-06:00

I am a 2010 Genesis Contest Finalist!

Go here to read the full story about The Call. :-) Thanks, all for your support!!

One Down, How Many To Go

2010-05-08T07:53:00.000-06:00

Here's the turtle blanket, finally finished. This was one of my Day Zero list to-do's. So I'm really glad that's done. Looking forward to being able to start on the next crochet project, now! :-) We shall see. Anyway, just wanted to post a picture here for those of you who don't look at my other blog.

Technically, this is five down, not one. :-) But who's counting?

Clash of the Titan-Gnomes

2010-04-30T17:15:00.000-06:00

For Mother's Day, my mom got a GU gnome from my little sister (who is not only a Gonzaga alumni, but could seriously win a contest for being the biggest Zag fan on the planet). You know, my sister who once bargained with me to get back my giant Gonzaga coffee mug (my 12-cupper) she'd bought me one year for Christmas, because they stopped making them and she couldn't live without it. My sister who took me to a GU/Duke game at Madison Square Garden and made me sit between rabid Kennel Clubbers. My sister who used to camp out for days at a time to get tickets when they were in the old stadium. Yeah, that sister.

She is as rabid (if not more so) a GU fan as I am a Duke fan. She also hates Duke, and is not afraid to say it. (Okay, I will admit, when we were at MSG at that game, the Duke fans were total douches to the GU fans... I never would have done that, and yes, it was classless.)

But because my sister has been such a GU fan for so long, now my parents have become fans as well. And my mom is as big a GU fan, almost, as she is an MSU fan. (Not quite, because she works for MSU, but close.) So when she unwrapped the GU gnome, she squealed like a little kid. It was great.

But then I went downstairs as she was rabidly taking pictures of it to send to my sister, put on Facebook, and plaster her office, and I said, "Oh, cool. I could get you a Duke gnome" because the company that makes these gnomes makes them for all collegiate teams (or so the packaging claims).

To which she looked at me cock-eyed and said, "I don't think so."

Apparently the Duke-hate has spread through my entire family now. Feelin' the love.

So I went on her Facebook page and said, "Maybe I could get you a Duke gnome."

To which she said, essentially, "I don't think they would get along."

To which I reminded her, they are not people. Plus, my sister and I manage to get along. So she has a Duke daughter and a GU daughter, and we haven't torn each other in half (yet). Why couldn't she have a Duke gnome and a GU gnome on her mantle?

To which she has not yet answered.

My guess: Duke hatery has taken over my family. What is this world coming to?

SF for Grads

2010-04-25T15:20:00.001-06:00

Just went into Barnes & Noble to buy a few copies of Strengthsfinder 2.0 so I could give them to a couple of clients tomorrow. And I went to where they usually store these books, only there were NONE there! This is very unusual, because I buy these books on a very regular basis, from the same store, and they always stock back up very quickly. There's not another person doing SF around here that I know of (and I will almost always hear about it), so I was a little shocked that there wasn't a single copy in the whole store.

We went around the store looking everywhere. The saleswoman kept saying "They're in the Business Motivation" section, which is just a couple of shelves. I kept telling her, "I checked, I know the book cover, it's not there. Trust me." She kept going back to look for it. It wasn't there.

Where did we finally find it?

On the table marked "For Graduates" that is a special collection of books to buy for 2010 Grads. I had to smile. There were probably 10 copies on that table. If I was going to have to find them somewhere, that is exactly the place I want to find them. It means the message is getting out.

Learn your Strengths, and learn them early. They will be the way you discern where to go from here. They are the best indicators of what your direction should be in life.

Good move, Barnes & Noble. I heartily approve.

Day Zero Project: Update

2010-04-20T09:42:00.001-06:00

I've been diligently working away at my Day Zero Project list. I have a few more that I've finished and a couple that I've started since I updated last time. I keep updating on my sidebar, but I figured I should post a few thoughts on some of the things I've done recently, if for nothing else other than Posterity. :-)

So here we go... Completed:

11. Go to a book signing - I went to Kane Conlan's book signing for The Manipulators when I was in Calgary. I blogged about it here, and it was a lot of fun.

25. Comment on 100 random blogs (100/100) - This was part of my "getting to know the blogosphere" idea. And I'm considering bumping this number up again. I originally started with 10, then bumped it to 50, then to 100, because I was moving through them so fast. So I may move it up to 200 or 250 even. We'll see. I'm forever finding new great blogs to read.

27. Make a new friend - I have actually made two new friends, through my critique circle. One of them I talk to almost every day now. It's been great. I also made a new friend when I went to Calgary. Lynette and I had been acquaintences through Keely, but when i went up there, I felt like I found a new friend. It was great.

28. Influence a person to make a day zero list - I got Mary to make one, earlier. But then I also just got Julia to make one. Yay! I have loved having this list, and will probably do something like this for a long time into the future. I've found it to be a good motivator for me because it has a time-frame that's specific, and it's not so daunting.

33. Get a critique partner - I have gotten several great critique partners through ACFW, and I'm very grateful for the opportunity to have good writers reading my work. I miss my old writer's group a lot, but I'm happy with what I've found, as well.

40. Read a book written by someone I disagree with - I read (and reviewed, here) Sarah Palin's Going Rogue. I feel good about the experience and I even noticed that when I recently heard of her being the keynote speaker in Boston at the Tea Party, I had a little more compassion for her redneck jawing than I normally would have.

53. Give up sugar for a week (7/7) - I did this while I was in Calgary, and let me tell you, it was *not* easy. I continued to do it throughout all of Lent, to the best of my ability, but that one week in Calgary, I had absolutely no sugar. It was intense. I'm not sure I noticed an immediate difference, but I definitely noticed some difference during Lent, and not necessarily in a good way. But more about that later.

58. Visit Keely - Did this in February. It was such a blast. I love Calgary. Can't wait to go back.

68. Go back to Portland - Did this in April. I definitely missed Portland. Believe it or not, I love the rain. I know, I know, as much as I complain about the snow, you wouldn't think I'd enjoy it that much, but I really loved it. I love the smell of rain and the weather. Plus, it was pretty nice a couple of days that I was there. And I got to see my family and do some shopping. It was a lot of fun.

72. Go on a road trip with a good friend. - When I went out to Portland, Mary came with me, and we got to road-trip it for a couple of days (one there, one back). It was very fun. We had a box of healthy snacks, and we didn't stop for meals. We had a harrowing ride through the Gorge the first day, where Mary did some great driving. But all in all, it was fun. Lots of music listened to. :-)

80. Attend a play - I went to see the One-Act festival that Kath acted in just before I left for Calgary. It was so much fun. And hilarious. I'd forgotten how talented local playwrights can really be. They were very fun, and the one Kath was in, I loved.

84. Sell my Nintendo DS - Just did this today, actually. And I'm about to mail it off right now. I'm so excited to be rid of all these electronic devices that I'm not using anymore. Definitely a good reminder to me about gadgetry, and how much I *don't* need it. :-)

97. Start tracking my financial information - I haven't been great about this. And generally, I don't like to have to write things down and keep things. But after doing my taxes this year, I realized that I really need to do a better job of keeping track of what's going on in my financial life. Plus, now that I am opening an IRA and buying stock, I need to have records. Good records. Complete records. Aaah, adult-hood. Here you are.

101. Get Keely to use Skype - After the M&H phone fiasco, both Keely & I decided that we would try to use Skype more often. So when I was up there, I got my webcam out, and her webcam out, and we Skyped while we were in the same town. :-) That way, I knew we could do it. And now we Skype when we're not in the same town! :-) It's a great money-saver for me. And for her, I'm sure.

Not yet completed, but on the docket:
2. See a movie in 3D - Never got to see Avatar in 3D... so I'm thinking maybe something this Spring. Everything seems to be coming out in 3D lately, so I figured I'd try it.

3. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years - I went back and read some of the things I wrote when I was in college the first time around, and I was amazed at how much I'd changed. I used to make my students write letters to their future selves, and I would send them to them in 5 years. I just sent out my first batch last summer, so I thought I'd do the same for myself. Should be fun.

15. Attend a rally for a cause I really care about - When I went past the tea party rally last week, I thought to myself, I need to remember to be on the lookout for rallys to go to. Going to the Methodist Church, they usually keep us pretty informed if there is anything, so I'll keep my eyes peeled and let you know if I find anything.

20. Make bread from scratch - I'm hoping to do this sometime this spring.

23. Buy a new camera - My camera has been broken since a fatal day in Madison Square Garden where I dropped it down the escalator on accident. So I've been needing to buy a new one. But I use my iPod more often, so I wanted to replace that first. Now that's done, next on my list is to replace my camera. Since I've sold my DS, and all the games with it, I will have some cash flow coming in. So I'll put some of that aside to replace my camera. I'm very excited to get a new one, and will be checking eBay a lot over the next several days to see what kind of deals I can get on used digital cameras.

36. Start a retirement fund - My parents gave me some seed money to start an IRA last year, and I still haven't done it. So that's something I want to make sure and do this Spring. Especially if I stay in Bozeman and stay at the bank I'm with right now, which it looks like I might just do. So we'll see how this goes.

45. Not log into facebook for a whole week (0/7) - I'm planning to do this in May, after SNL is over. I was going to do it this week, for Screen-Free week. But with SNL going on, I need to have access to Facebook in order to manage that event. So after SNL, I'm going to take a Facebook haitus. I'm not going to take a blogging haitus, because that's professional time I need to put in for development of my platform, and everytime I miss days with blogging, I pay for it. (Not with money... but loss of interest.) So I won't take a haitus from that, but I will not log onto Facebook for an entire week. Maybe longer...

60. Visit Maggie - Before my sister moves to San Diego, I really would like to get back out to Boston. I want to try to figure out how to make this happen. I loved Boston, and I only really got to spend a few days there. I suppose, it's not a huge priority, but I would like to try. If not, I guess "Visit Maggie" can include San Diego as well. :-) But I would also like to get to Providence and see Dooley's. We'll see.

87. Apply to a job at Bethel or MSU - I was going to apply for the Academic Adviser job at MSU, but they took down the public posting before I could. So I'm going to keep my eye open at both Bethel and MSU. It is my ultimate goal to work on a University campus someday, so I will keep trying.

96. Attend an author's conference - I just registered for RWA Nationals and am heading to Nashville in July. I'm very excited for this opportunity, and very grateful that my parents decided to invest in my career by sending me to this very prestigious and exciting conference!! Thanks Mom & Dad. I couldn't do this without you both.

Well, that's it for now. One of my Day Zero items that I decided not to put on (because I have no control over it) was to celebrate with Duke when they won the national championship. And while I had no control over them winning the championship, it is sure a great time to be a Duke Fan. And I will always be able to say that I saw this 2010 Championship Team play live in Madison Square Gardens. (Even though they broke my camera, haha!) So that was definitely a highlight that didn't make the list. Go Blue Devils. :-)

Who Can Afford That?

2010-04-16T10:50:00.001-06:00

While doing some research for a writing project, I got a wild hair today to research the most expensive places to live in the entire country. Just for fun. Because I figured, it's good to know these things.

I found an article that Forbes magazine put out about the 100 most expensive zip codes in the entire country. So I'm interested to know what you think.

Just off the top of your head, without doing any research, what would you say is the most expensive place in the country to live? Give 'er a good guess.

Then, if you want, you can read the article.

Seriously, though, it gives the Real Housewives of New Jersey a whole new legitimacy for me. Who knew?

Review: Essentials for Life by Marcia Ford

2010-04-13T14:35:00.001-06:00

Marcia Ford's newest release, Essentials for Life, is all about the basics of living out our Christian faith. "They're called the basics for a reason," says the back of the book "You build everything on them." And this is exactly what the book encourages us to do: get back to basics.

So what are the basics of Christian living? Well, some of them you might expect. Like believing in God. :-) Having faith. Reading your Bible. Memorizing Scripture passages. All the things we're taught in Sunday School.

But there are some surprising additions that I really like, especially in the more practical areas of the book. I appreciate the whole "back to basics" idea. I do think that, in general (like the book says), when we get off-balance, or our lives seem to be spiraling out of control, we should return to our original programming. We have a good program. Get back to it. I like it.

This is set up more as a devotional text than a reference book, or something you would read all in one day. It's broken up into short, two-page segments for each of the basics that Marcia Ford outlines. It would be a great text to read every morning at the start of the day, alongside your Bible, if you do that. If you're struggling with how to regain some dynamic balance in your life, or how to refocus, check this book out. I found it to be very engaging, and full of digestible information.

**In accordance with blogging mandates, I received this book from Thomas Nelson in order to review it on my blog.**

Golden Heart Update

2010-04-12T08:12:00.000-06:00

Those of you who have been waiting to hear what happened with the Golden Heart. Just wanted to let you know that I did not make the finals. Not a huge surprise, given that the ms I entered was really my first novel. But still, for a pretty competitive person, it's always hard when you compete and don't win. I'll bounce back, though.

I haven't received my scores yet, but I've heard from several of my RWA PRO friends who were in other categories and have now received theirs, so I would imagine that mine are coming soon. I will post here to let you know generally how I did. I probably won't give the scores specifically, but I will respond to the scores that I got and the comments, if there are any. I don't anticipate there really being any, because I think all I will get is scores, but we shall see. It's my first one. :-)

I'm definitely more determined to keep working on my other ms's, and to keep up the progress on trying to make a good revision of that first novel. But the more I hear from other writers, the more I'm wondering if I shouldn't just keep that first novel on the shelf for awhile. We shall see.

Anyway, thanks all for hte well-wishes!! Next year, if I'm not published before the GH contest deadline, I do anticipate entering again! Should be exciting. :-) I get knocked down, but I get up again... you're never gonna keep me down, i get knocked down, but I get up again... :-)

#1 Baby, Yeah!

2010-04-05T22:16:00.002-06:00

Just had to put a little post tonight, after Duke just won the national championship. I know it's not really writing-centric, but it's such a huge part of my life.

Also, this year, I got a chance to see Duke play live in Madison Square Garden. This team, the championship team. I got to see them play live in maybe the most incredible basketball royalty venue in the country. And they won! Of course, they beat Gonzaga, so I was sad for the Zags (my sister's team). But today, I am just so happy for Duke's big win.

Granted, I loved Butler's team, and their coach, and their story. But I just can't be sad that Duke won. It was arguably the best championship game in almost fifteen years.

So I'm just happy today. Loving this moment. And for the next six months, I can rest on this laurel. Duke Blue Devils. National Champions. 2010. Rock On.

You're Not From Around Here, Are Ya?

2010-03-30T14:26:00.000-06:00

Have you ever seen Montana portrayed in fiction?

Check out my blog or the MTRWA blog to let me know what you think about it, and whether or not it works for you. Or just come over and join the conversation.

Review: Going Rogue by Sarah Palin

2010-03-29T10:32:00.002-06:00

Yes, for those of you who have been waiting, I've finally done it. I have finally finished Going Rogue by Sarah Palin. One of my Day Zero List goals was to read a book written by someone I disagree with. And instead of starting with someone I sort of do agree with or someone whose story interests me, I started with one of my least favorite people in the public eye--possibly the person I respected the least in the political landscape of the country who isn't part of the media.

So what you're probably wondering is: did it change how I think about her?

My reluctant answer is: yeah. My truthful answer is: very much so. Yes.

Knowing what I know now, would I go back and vote for McCain/Palin (as someone who was famous for saying that I would have voted for John McCain if he wouldn't have picked her as his VP candidate)?

No. I would still vote for Obama/Biden.

But I'll tell you what. Sarah Palin is not my enemy. The one thing she said that resonated with me the most is that the political machine is the enemy of the average American. Whether you are a Republican (which I'm not) or a Democrat (which I'm not), or somewhere between the two (which I am), I think it would serve us all to think seriously about how defunct and bloated the political system is. I'm still a fan of local government. Which, oddly enough, I have in common with Sarah Palin. But the more I get to know about the way politics work in this country, the more frustrated I am with the way this country works.

I was watching the Celebrity Apprentice last night, and realized that every single time Rod Blagojevich opened his mouth, I just wanted to strangle him. So when Sarah Palin talked about being "politically coached" before her press interviews, or before the debates, I felt sorry for her. There is no straight-talking in politics, Sarah, just like there is no crying in baseball. It sucks, I agree. I can't stand it when politicians don't answer the questions they're asked, and instead answer questions they weren't asked that are completely common sense and take no sides. I have to say that I respect Sarah Palin for not being afraid to offend people.

I am sick and tired of all of us trying so hard not to offend people. We can't tolerate difference in this country. And you know what? Psychologically, that is a sign of immaturity. Not of enlightenment. When you force everyone to agree instead of allowing everyone to be different (and *shocked gasp* dis.a.gree), that can be a sign of neuroses, in an individual. Why in the world do we tolerate it in the public sphere? I don't get it. So, while I disagree with Sarah Palin, I no longer expect her to agree with me. I don't think that there's something ultra-enlightened about the way I think. It's just my opinion. Her opinions are hers. And I will loudly (and forever) defend her right to be stupid. :-) Just kidding. I meant that I will defend her right to be different. While it would be a lot easier for me if everyone just agreed with me, I recognize that requiring everyone to agree with me is narcissistic, and closed-minded. I can tolerate difference. I can tolerate Sarah Palin.

Can you tolerate that? Can you tolerate that I don't agree with you? Or that you don't agree with me? Think about that for a second.

Back to the review.

What I appreciated about this book was that it forced me to look at Sarah Palin as a normal human being. Yeah, she represents things I don't agree with, and she was at the head of an ultra-conservative, fundamentalist juggernaut that frightens me, frankly. But the bottom line is, she's a human being. She's a mom, and has a family. She lives in a house, just like me, and goes to work. She has a political and ethical philosophy that has been shaped by her experience, and I can expect nothing different from her than for her to be different from me.

And if I'm honest, I sorta feel sorry for her. She got caught up in something that was bigger than she was. She, like George Bush before her, was a "normal gal" among a bunch of highly educated, highly conscientious personalities. And her appeal to the normal people in this country was genuine. She honestly seems like a normal person to me. She's had to watch her family get attacked, which I think is absolutely classless, and eventually got out of politics because it's more important to her that she has a stable, whole family than it is that she gets elected to a national public office. Why? Because the political machine is broken anyway. And one person can't fix it. I agree with her. And I respect the decision she made.

I still disagree with most of her politics. I still won't vote for her. But reading this book has accomplished, for me, what I wanted it to accomplish. It's reinforced for me that it's okay to disagree with someone and not villify (or hate) them. (Now, if I could just find a book by John Calipari...) It's also reinforced for me that the media would love it if we, as a country, would continue to let the rift between Republican and Democrat divide the country. Because fear sells, probably more than even sex. But I'm not going to fall prey to the fear-mongering anymore. Honestly, even if Sarah Palin runs in 2012 and gets elected (which I don't think will ever happen), my life isn't going to change that much. And if George Bush taught me anything about politics, it's that I can survive pretty much any level of political idiocy. And if Barack Obama taught me anything about politics, it's that if you don't like what's going on, get off your butt and do something about it.

So I have to say thank you to Sarah Palin for writing this book. If it was an attempt to win over the moderates to her cause, it failed. But if it was to show us who the woman was that everyone seems to love or hate, then she succeeded. I see the child, the athlete, the worker, the mother, and--yes--the politician. And I realize that my frustration with the ultra-right (and, to be fair, the ultra-left) doesn't actually come from people like Sarah Palin. It comes from me. And that's something that I can change.

So my new Day Zero List goal is to stop thinking and talking about politics. It doesn't produce any kind of good fruit in my life. So from now on, I'd like to remember, like Pocahontas said, that every politician I don't like "has a life, has a spirit, has a name... and if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew." I'm going to learn to paint with all the colors, I think, and stop seeing everything in red and blue. And I wish the rest of the country could learn to do the same.

But even if they don't... I will.

Final Four, Baby

2010-03-28T18:01:00.001-06:00

Okay, I'm just posting this so I remember how happy I am today.

Kentucky lost. Duke won.

Duke is in the Final Four, and Kentucky is not. No matter what anyone says, Kentucky lost that game. They did not play better than WVU. It wasn't reffing, it wasn't mind games. It was flat-out play. Look at the stats. And the Duke game was the same. Baylor played hard, took Duke to the edge of their game, and didn't win. They didn't lose. There was no losing. Duke won. This Baylor team was a phenomenal group of athletes, and they deserved to be where they were. But Duke won.

And I saw this team in action this year. Phenomenal. Once again, yes, I took this picture. Yes, that's Cameron Indoor Stadium.

Yes, I Know the Game

2010-03-27T10:09:00.000-06:00

When I went to the ESPNZone for the first time, I found this fantastic t-shirt that I immediately bought. The first thing that caught your eye was the gigantic "YES YES YES" on the back.

Yes, I am a woman.
Yes, I know the game.
Yes, I watch ESPN.

Bought it immediately. Couldn't not buy it. Compulsion. You know the deal. I get so bored with the whole "only men are into sports" stereotypes. In fact, there are some romance novels that are sports-driven (granted, some of them really don't know what they're talking about), and I enjoy reading them from time to time. Might even attempt to write one myself when I'm finished with my other projects. But women love sports too. Or they can.

So it shouldn't be a big shocker when I decide not to answer my phone on the day when Duke is playing their Sweet Sixteen game against their most difficult opponent yet. Or tomorrow, when they're playing their Elite Eight game against their most difficult opponent yet. I don't want to be distracted, and I don't want to be taunted, and I definitely don't want to talk to anyone if they lose. So I tend to stay clear of the social media whenever there's a big game on.

Well, except for that Carolina game... I just couldn't resist watching the Twitter feed on the Duke-UNC match-up... it was going to be too good. And I wasn't worried that we would lose. There wasn't really a chance of that. Anyway, I've been a Duke fan for a long time, and a College Basketball fan for a long time, and a sports fan for a long time, and an athlete for a long time. So yes, I'm a woman. And I love the game. And I watch ESPN.

Now that I'm out in the open, maybe I can stop getting crap for not answering my phone on game day? :-)

(Oh, and yes, I am an unapologetic Duke fan; yes, I have been to Cameron Indoor; yes, I took this picture.) :-)

Please Pray

2010-03-22T09:54:00.000-06:00

Hello, all. Faithful followers of the Silent Word. :-)

Most (if not all) of you will know that I have been applying for jobs recently. Well, last week I found and applied for a job that I am super psyched about. I think I would be a great fit for the job, and I think the job would be a great fit for me. I am very much hoping for an opportunity to at least interview and let them know how excited I am at the thought of this opportunity.

They sent out an email today saying that they had received my application and that it might be the very last time I hear from them if I am not selected to move on. Please pray for me if you think about it. I will need prayers for patience in addition to prayers for the process. I am already waiting to hear back on a major competition I entered with my writing this week, and now I'm also waiting on the next step of this job.

I am not going to share details about the job. But if you want to know more, feel free to contact me via email and I can tell you specifically what the job is and how you can pray. But please, please, please pray. I will need it in the upcoming weeks. This is the first job I've applied for since the Bethel job that I've been really excited about and seriously invested in getting. So I would appreciate all the prayers you can give me!

Much love to you all.

Tear

2010-03-19T22:48:00.000-06:00

I am a huge (read: HUGE) Jamie Oliver fan. I used to get up at 5:30 on Saturday mornings to watch his cooking show. Now I just DVR it. :-) But seriously, he is absolutely amazing.

I sort of have a crush on Jamie Oliver, if I'm honest.

So when he posts an amazing looking recipe and references his honeymoon... I feel absolutely wretched that I'm actually jealous! I'm sure he's happily married, and I'm very happy that he's happy. But let's be honest... I'm feeling a little bit of sadness that Jamie Oliver will never be mine...

Gaelic Blessing for St. Pat's Day

2010-03-17T08:25:00.000-06:00

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

-Gaelic Blessing

Madness by Committee

2010-03-14T11:32:00.000-06:00

Bubble talk. The field. Bracketology. Cutting down nets. The Power Six. RPI. SOS. ACC. PAC10. Got all that? Just checking, because today is the day, people...

Today is Selection Sunday.

Quite possibly, the most intense day of the year for College Basketball fans. Today is the day that all those teams who didn't win their Conference Championship are holding their collective breath. Everyone is listening to (thankfully, not Doug Gottlieb) ESPN commentators talk about who's making it and who's not. I guess when it comes down to it, all the talk doesn't really matter, because the Committee has the last word.

That is sort of the cornerstone of our country. The Committee. Wherever you are, that "vote" of multiple people sitting around a table determines everything. I mean, really, even our government is run by Committee. Of course, it makes sense, because we value democracy. But I just find it interesting. We never trust the word of one person. It always has to be "validated" by the word of someone else. You can practically have a committee of complete morons decide something, and we still give it more weight than one really smart person deciding something important. That sort of bothers me.

Here's what I like about committees: multiple perspectives add richness to the view of a subject/issue.

Here's what I don't like: it places a low value on intelligence and wisdom, and a high value on either conformity or subjectivity.

Now, of course, not all committees do this. There are some people who know how to lead committees, teams, and groups effectively who can really free people up to be empowered individuals who work together. But most of the committees I've been on have been a collection of people who don't really want to be there (*most* being the key word... there have been notable exceptions), and who are willing to go along with whoever shouts the loudest or is the most outspoken. I've seen committees get together with individuals intending to make one decision who then are persuaded to conform because they are running out of time, or they don't have the confidence to stand up to a strong personality. And then whatever decision gets made is given validity because it was made by a group.

I'm not necessarily saying that committees are bad, or that individuals making decisions are better. But I am saying... let's be careful of making claims about "truth" and "fact" and "best" just because one person's opinion is validated by a couple of his friends. My personal opinion, I'd rather let Jay Bilas make the decisions about the field by himself. Why? He's smart. I'd even be happy with Hubert Davis or Digger Phelps. They're smart guys. They may not always agree with each other, but they're smart. And they try to be as unbiased as possible. Of course, they can't ever be completely unbiased. I've never seen, for instance, Hubert Davis predict that Duke would beat Carolina, or heard Jay Bilas predict that Carolina would be Duke. But they are smart guys. And they know what they're talking about.

Do I not trust the Committee? I don't think that's the issue. I can't help that we feel the need to have a Committee validate everyone's decisions. I can see the benefits of committees in some situations. (Like passing laws, for instance... that's sort of a lot of power for one person.) But I think in general, we as Americans need to be a little more aware of our distrust of single leaders or decision-makers. Yes, there are bad leaders who compound issues by being able to make decisions on their own. But there are also times when we need one person to just step up and make the decisions, and not filter everything through a committee or require a validation of opinion by committee in order to be considered valid.

Not necessarily in the case of Selection Sunday. But just some food for thought.

An Era, Ended

2010-03-10T20:10:00.000-07:00

For the last several months, I've been re-watching Buffy. Almost primarily. From Episode 1 of Season 1 to Episode 22 of Season 7. I'm just about to start episode 22 of Season 7 right this minute, and I felt like I needed to write something to commemorate this occasion.

This was part of my Day Zero Project. I've owned Buffy (thanks, Tim & Nicole, again, for turning me on to this show, seriously...) for five years, now, and never watched the whole series back-to-back. This has been a really incredible experience. Since I didn't watch it while it was on TV, I didn't get a chance to go through it the way you would sort of live with a show while it's on. Like life.

As I'm getting ready to say goodbye to Buffy, Xander, Willow, Anya, Giles, Dawn, and all the (thank God, seriously) Potentials, I am confronted with one of life's sad truisms.

Life changes.

You start off a kid. You don't know a lot. You're pretty naive. You make mistakes, you hurt. But you make friends, and they love you. You make promises. You fall in love.

Then life changes.

You become a young adult. The mistakes you made before come back to bite you in the butt. Some of your friends desert you. Some of them try to kill you. (Okay, so that's a little extreme.) Things are not as easy as they once were. You are on your own. Your first love was not "the one". You are wounded. You want to hide in a hole somewhere. You realize that the world is not what you expected it would be.

Then life changes.

You become an adult. The mistakes you made before don't seem so bad anymore compared with the ones you're making now. You have responsibilities. Some of your friends desert you, or desert each other, or both. Your first love seems like a picnic compared to who you're dating now. You want to be a kid again, but you also like your wisdom and strength. You have new perspectives on life.

And life changes...

Review: Ted's Montana Grill

2010-03-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

Part of my Day Zero List was to eat at three new restaurants in Bozeman. I started out with Sobey's (Mexican) for Breakfast (in January). I went to Weebee's for lunch (in February). And most recently, I went with my parents to Ted's Montana Grill for dinner (in March).

I must admit some skepticism about the restaurant itself. Anything connected with Ted Turner around here incites a natural skepticism, if you're really a Bozemanite, anyway. But it turned out to be unfounded skepticism. Well, I should add the caveat that I didn't see Ted Turner, and I didn't think about Ted Turner, but if that sort of thing bothers you, then don't go to Ted's Montana Grill. But that would truly be a shame, because it's been one of the best dining experiences I've ever had in this town.

The food was absolutely excellent. Every single item was made from scratch, right on down to the bleu cheese dressing on my wedge salad. We didn't have any food that wasn't good, and I had several items that I would consider to be among the best in town. My mom had the Bison Meatloaf, which was succulent and tasty. Also, the squash casserole they served with it was quite good. My dad had the Bacon Burger. (Of course. When does he not... although we almost had him sold on the Prime Rib...) The burger itself was quite good, and the fries on the side were really well-seasoned. I had the Beer-Can Chicken, which was one of the most moist and juicy pieces of chicken I think I've ever had. Really, really well-done. The sides were nothing spectacular (and the garlic mashers were quite dry), but the wedge salad was really excellent. Great balance in their bleu cheese dressing. And they included just the right amount of toppings for the wedge salad. I was very impressed by the balance, in general, in all their food. That speaks of a talented chef. And when there's a talented chef in the kitchen, you probably won't have many bad meals in that place. Good sign.

The kicker was the Key Lime Pie. Anytime I go to a restaurant that has Key Lime Pie, I want to try it. I have been on a mission to make the best Key Lime Pie for quite awhile, and it's always interesting to see how they differ from one another. See if I can spot that one mystery ingredient that will just make it soar. While it wasn't the best I've ever tasted (that, by far, was at a restaurant in South Carolina), it was definitely up there in the top three. And I've had a lot of Key Lime Pie. This was definitely the best I've ever had in the state of Montana. The crust was looser than most of the pressed graham cracker crusts you'll find in restaurants, which I really appreciated. It has a more homemade feel, so I know you didn't buy a 100-pack of pre-made crusts from the grocery story (or Costco). There was enough tart that the lime flavor came out brilliantly, and there was a lime wedge on top so that you could enhance the lime flavor if you wanted. I chose to do just that. It was sublime. Pun intended. Anyway, that was definitely the highlight of the evening.

I highly recommend, if you're ever driving through Bozeman, that you stop at Ted's Montana Grill. You'll find it on the corner of Main Street and Willson Avenue, in the historic Bozeman Hotel. The interior of the restaurant is enhanced historic, with wood floors, period valances, and mood lighting. But it definitely still has the paper-table feel of a steak house. While we didn't try any steaks, the waitress says that their "Salt & Pepper Onion Rings" and their Prime Rib are what make them famous. So the next time I go back, I will have to try that. It's a bit pricy ($80 for three people, including wine & dessert), but it's definitely worth every dollar for the experience and the quality of the food. All-in-all, I would say the best finer dining experience I've had in Bozeman is at Ted's Montana Grill.

Good on you, Day Zero List. Because Ted's Montana Grill is one of the only restaurants in Bozeman that I had not previously sampled. So finding new restaurants was difficult. And if I hadn't "had" to try it, I probably never would have gone to Ted's Montana Grill. So thanks to an arbitrary goal, I have just uncovered one of the truly great restaurants in this city. I hope, if you do go someday, that you'll let me know what you think. I definitely enjoyed myself at Ted's Montana Grill. And I hope you do, as well!

Review: The Voice (New Testament)

2010-03-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

The Voice (New Testament)
Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2007

If there ever was a Bible that was written in Community, it is The Voice. The preface states that this translation is an attempt to distinguish "the uniqueness of each author [through] a retelling (of) the story of the Bible in a form as fluid as modern literary works (that) remains painstakingly true to the original manuscripts." While the translating was done by academics, as per usual, they were working in community with pastors, writers, musicians, poets, and other artists. The project's vision is to create a Bible that is "holistic, beautiful, sensitive, and balanced", that is, a Bible that "considers the heart, soul, and mind; achieves literary and artistic excellence; respects cultural shifts and the need for accuracy; and includes theologically diverse writers and scholars." The attempt at diversity, beauty, and balance has, in my humble opinion, been achieved with excellence.

The project definitely walks a fine line between trying to stay true to the original text and attempting to write in an idiom and fluidity that is readable. In my opinion, it is infinitely more accurate and readable than The Message, and I eagerly anticipate the release of the Old Testament, especially the Psalms. I can't wait to see what they do with the Psalms.

Here's the one caveat I will offer to my recommendation: This translation, like any other, is not without bias. And I will say that anyone who believes ANY Biblical translation to be without bias sadly doesn't understand the process of translation. Language does not have objective meaning. It only has meaning in context. If I use the word "love" in English, I might be referring to any number of emotions, actions, thoughts. Anything from the love of a parent for a child to erotic love to the sort of preferential affection that is colloquially used today. The only way you can understand which type of "love" I mean when I write the word is to understand the context of my usage. And whenever a decision must be made, we must acknowledge that a decision has been made. Of all the potential meanings, one has been chosen over another. That is bias. Whether we think our bias comes from theological certainty (which, by the way, is just a collection of biases that have been validated by others) or from the bad shrimp we had last night is completely at our own discretion. Yes, there are translations that are generally accepted to be as accurate as possible to the original language. And there are translations that are generally accepted to be more "interpretive". This will, no doubt, be considered to be an "interpretive" translation. And some will probably call it "not a translation".

The particular bias of this translation is admitted up front. The translators, in an attempt to explain the purpose of the project, have acknowledged that translation includes the making of decisions concerning context. In the Introduction, Dr. David B. Capes discusses the covenants of the Old Testament, which is appropriate, and then states that "these covenants become the basis for all the promises and hopes that are fulfilled in Jesus, the Liberating King." Then, when discussing the new covenant, he places particular emphasis on the understanding of the first-century church (of Jews) and how they would have understood Jesus as the Liberator. Therefore, they have called this New Testament "The Liberating King and His Church." This is also, I believe, an appropriate and accurate decision.

There are, of course, those who oppose Liberation theology, who will likely see this as an attempt to circumvent what they believe to be the "real" truth of the Bible, which has more to do with America as the new Israel than the idea that Jesus came to free *all* nations and *all* peoples, in addition to his desire to free all people. In my opinion, opposition to Liberation theology is covert (sometimes overt) racism, and I find it to be closed-minded and elitist. It is, frankly, an excuse to prefer translations written in the height of English racism that reinforce our national Christian preferences for comfort in wealth and oppressing anyone outside our borders, as long as we don't have to look them in the eyes.

This book, while written with a decidedly Liberation bent, also reflects the community of artists who created the first text of the Bible we know today. The authors have attempted to preserve the integrity of each author, in addition to the message of the text. So, for instance, John reads like a play while Luke reads like a treatise. They attempt to show who is speaking whenever the text makes it clear, and the try to preserve the idiom of English (to make it more understandable to a modern audience) while still preserving the truth of the text. Will it be challenging to those who have grown up with the Gospel According to Pat Robertson? Probably. But we all need to have our paradigms challenged once in awhile. That's the only way we know them to be true... if they withstand testing.

So pick up The Voice someday. Listen to the Community of God speaking together. Read it knowing that it is a translation with a bias, but do not dismiss its message. Allow it to challenge you and speak to you. Allow the Liberating King to liberate you not only from the sins of the Ten Commandments, but also the sins of pride, selfishness, oppression, and self-deceit. Allow the beauty and the truth of the New Testament to wash over you in a new way.

Thoughts on Lent

2010-02-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you know that Clint Walker and a bunch of us are doing a special blog for Lent. Come on over if you get a chance. We'd love to hear from you and have you engage with our Lenten stories.

Straight from the Dryer: Thoughts on Lent

Oh, Canada

2010-02-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last month in Canada. Calgary, to be precise. And I have learned a lot of things about myself while being here.

1) I don't "need" to be at home. I do like to travel. I miss everyone, but I like knowing they'll be there when I get home. In fact, it's almost sweeter when I know they'll be there when I get back, but I don't have to be there all the time.

2) I adapt quickly. My accent, my phrasing, my lifestyle. I take on the characteristics of wherever I am with unusual alacrity. I have always known about myself that I travel easily, but this was good to know. In case I ever decide that I want to do this for long periods of time, I will easily be able to do it.

3) I like to know people where I'm traveling. One of the great joys of going to where your friends live is being able to see them in their environment. While I was here, I got to meet a couple of Keely's friends, and see her apartment, and I also got to see her at work. It's all been very cool. Friends who don't live in my town present a unique challenge in that I don't get to be part of their everyday lives. But I've enjoyed getting to be a part of her everyday life while I was here.

4) I don't "need" to meet people. I have great friends who live all over the country and the world. I don't feel the need to go out and make new friends wherever I go. I'm certainly not going to turn down friends, but my friends are with me whenever I leave. And whenever I return.

5) I like being wherever I am. When I was on the farm, I liked that. When I'm in the city, I like that. When I'm in Bozeman, I generally like that.

6) I like winter when there's less snow. I don't mind the cold. Not even the ice. I don't like the wetness. And I don't like the transfer of dirt and grime through wetness. But when there's less snow (unlike Bozeman), I'm pretty okay with the winteryness of everything.

7) I like to be alone a lot. I've been alone a lot while I was here. And I've spent most of it working, on some level. Working on craft projects, working on my novels, working on my blog and reviewing, working on workshops and critiquing. It's been fantastic. And it's hard to do when you can't spend a lot of time alone.

8) I want to be a writer. I really want to give this whole thing a serious shot. In fact, I think that when my term runs out with unemployment, I'm considering stopping my job search. Granted, this might also be because I haven't even gotten a job interview after months of searching. But I like to think it's because I really want to be a writer. And I think I could do it.

9) I love Canada, but I don't know if I want to live here. I've talked on and off about moving to Canada for most of my life. I do love it here, and I could see myself splitting my time between here and the US at some point. But it is definitely harder to get the places I want to get to. And the systems are very different. It would take a lot of getting used to. The day-to-day living isn't that different. But I think I would miss being in the US. I don't know. We'll see... I do like it here... ;-)

Sugar Addicts Anonymous

2010-02-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

Growing up Pentecostal, I was very much in the dark about liturgy. Although, as Kristy often points out to me, we celebrated Advent and Lent in my family because we have Catholic background. But I don't remember every knowing what Lent really was until I started working for Lynn.

As an American Baptist, I didn't expect a particular effulgence of liturgy when I went to work at FBC. But Lynn was very interested in the liturgy of the church. We always celebrated Lent and Advent in particular style.

And yet there's a lot about Lent that I've never really celebrated. Read: Self-Denial. That's not something that most of us excel at, in general. We did the studying, the focus on prayer, penitence, and giving. But never really talked about the self-denial. So I'm going to try something new this year.

I'm going to give up something for Lent. And not something easy, like soda (which I don't really drink anyway). Or chocolate (which I can live without). I'm giving up sugar. So I guess I am giving up soda and chocolate, in a way. But I had to take a look at the thing in my life that was taking my focus away from God. I am very much in love with sugar. I am even addicted to sugar. And I am powerless against it. So I will need God's help, bigtime, to get through this Lenten season. But I want to try it. I want to deny myself the thing that I crave the most right now. So we'll see how it goes.

I'm sure I'll keep you updated. In all seriousness, I really do think that I am addicted to sugar. So I know this is not going to be easy. But I still want to do it. I think if I can just do it for 40-ish days, it will help me to get a better handle on it.

My name is Becca, and I am an addict.

Getting Lush

2010-02-16T16:36:00.001-07:00

I've never been big into hair care. Somehow, I always have healthy hair, and it normally looks alright (whether it's styled well... that's not my department...) One of my best friends is super into hair care. She dyes her hair, and she's very conscious of her care of it, so it doesn't get too damaged. So I learn a lot from her.

The other day, we were at Crossiron Mills Mall in Airdrie, and we walked past this store called "Lush". Love that word. But it looked like one of those hair care and skin care places, and I just wasn't feeling it. But she talked me into it, and we went in.

For my birthday, she got me a package of hair care products from Lush. Lush is a Canadian company that makes all their products from natural ingredients, handmade in Canada. The products she bought me were both solids. One was a disc of shampoo soap (pictured below). The other was a block of humectant (pictured right) that you shave and then mix with hot water, and it turns into a conditioning applicant.

Let me tell you, after one use of this stuff... I can't even tell you. My hair is a completely different animal today. I'm excited to see what it's like the more I use it.

But if you get a chance, I would definitely check this place out. I've never seen anything like it before, but the products are supposed to be non intrusive to the environment, which is a big problem with commercial hair care products. They have ingredients that really shouldn't be going into the water supply. And they have floor wax and things in them. But these natural products are all biodegradable, and there's no silicone in them. It's incredible. I can't recommend these products highly enough.

Check them out!!

Why We Can't All Win Gold Medals

2010-02-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

It comes down to 30 seconds.

You train for 20 years, 4-10 hours a day, 365 days a year. You sweat, you bleed, you cry, you swear. You spend everything you have. You prepare every second you can prepare. You travel, you sacrifice, you pray.

And then it comes down to 30 seconds.

First of all, most of us don't have the dedication it takes to practice that much. Second of all, we don't all have the talent it takes to be that good. And third of all, we don't all have the desire we need to get it all done. And that's okay. We don't all have to. We can't all win gold medals.

Because the gold medal wouldn't be the gold medal if we gave them to everyone. It's okay to recognize people for their excellence. It doesn't mean there's something deficient about the rest of us. It just means that someone has to be the best. And there's nothing wrong with having a "best". In fact, I think it's good for us. I think if more of us were a little more competitive, we might all rise to the challenge a little better.

I can't do many things in 30 seconds. I can't even imagine 30 seconds determining your entire life's work. That's intense. But if I can't do that, I can do something else.

My best friend and I used to lament, every two years, of course, that we had never won an Olympic gold medal. But now, as I watch the Olympics, I see that there's a reason why we can't all win gold medals. I couldn't handle that kind of pressure. But I'm glad there are people who can. And do.

I sure do like to watch those 30 seconds that make someone a star.

That One Beatles' Song

2010-02-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday would have been Bryan's birthday. He would have been 26. It's still hard that he's gone, and sometimes it's still hard to see Lizzie toddling around and know that he's not here to see it, too.

Having my birthday the day before his will probably always mean that I'll mark his birthday. And that my birthday will always be a little bit sad because he's not around to celebrate his, too, along with mine.

I'm not one of those people who has an easy time saying, "oh, but it was God's will, so it'll all be fine." Particularly when it comes to Bryan's death. I still am not going to say that God did or didn't "take" Bryan out of this world. What I do know is that he's gone. And it's horribly unfair.

This is his second birthday that he's missed. And it's not fair. And I'll never be happy about it, or okay with it. And it sort of makes me a little bit mad that it doesn't hurt as much as it did last year. When someone you love dies, life isn't supposed to go on. But it does. Life will never, ever be the same. But it does go on.

A Year Ago Today...

2010-02-10T00:13:00.002-07:00

Today is my birthday. I turn 31. Wow. In fact, as I write this, it is currently about to turn my birthday. Two minutes and counting.

I'm always curious what I was doing at this time last year, or five years ago, or whatever. So I'm going to talk for a minute about what I'm doing today, so that next year, when I turn 32, I can look back on myself and think... "I remember the time..."

One minute and counting.

This year, I am in Calgary. I'm housesitting for a friend. I'm writing. I'm doing a bit of coaching. I'm having lots of time to think about my life. I'm trying to be as healthy as I can. I'm spending time with Keely, who I rarely get to see and who is one of my best friends.

Happy Birthday to me. (Wow. I'm 31 years old.)

What I've realized about myself over the last week of largely being alone.

I like to write. A lot. I like to write and critique and read and review, and do all the things I need to do to get my whole platform set up and my career on the move. In fact, I love it. I could do it all day. I do do it all day.

I do not like to be alone so much. I thought I did. In fact, that was one of the reasons I came up here. I knew that I would be spending a lot of time alone, and I thought I would enjoy it more. But I think I need more balance. I need some people time and some alone time. I think I need more alone time than I'm getting in Bozeman, but more people time than I'm getting here.

Granted, I could change both. And I probably should. But at the same time, it's good to know.

Anyway, happy birthday to me. And hopefully it will be a good one. For now, it's time for sleepy.

Are You Sirius?

2010-02-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

In the 90s, "Sirius" by the Alan Parson's Project was quite possibly the most famous (and henceforth overused) athletic event opening song (slash team introduction background song), you couldn't throw a shoe in high school or college sports without hitting someone turning on the Alan Parsons Project.

So, these days, I expect to be bored and frustrated when I hear this song at athletic events.

I am not.

It amazes me how excited I get whenever I heard that song. It makes me want to run out in a uniform somewhere and play some sport with a team of other people.

The Iris Garden

2010-02-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

I've been working on this story about the MSU Iris Garden for about two months now, with a group on campus trying to restore the iris garden. Anyway, I just sent off another draft to my editor, and she's gonna work on it for awhile. I'm sure I'll post it here when we get it to its final stages. I'll also be doing a reading at the Bozeman Women's Historical Society in March, so look for more info about that.

Anyway, I just wanted to post a couple of pictures so you can see what I see.

Here is a picture of a clover field that I found. In the short creative nonfiction piece (which will be posted here), the idea for the iris garden comes to Norma while she's in a clover field near the Hyalite foothills.

I found this great picture of a clover field to help me with my visual images, and to help me get a feel for where they're sitting and talking and walking. I just love clover. Plus, it's kinda tasty. :-)

This picture is from the 40s, I believe. It's a picture of the Iris Garden after it was completed and the sundial was installed. The sundial was sort of a legend on campus, and it was lost after 1921. Then, just before the Iris Garden began, the sundial was mysteriously found in the ROTC barracks on campus that had been abandoned for new barracks and used as a storage facility.

For those of you familiar with the MSU Campus, this was before the CDC Playground, which would be to the left, and before Willson Hall, as well, I believe, which would be behind the picture-taker. It was also before Danforth Chapel, which would be to the right.

This is by far my favorite picture. It's the design for the garden, made by Dr. Hurlburt Cheever. (In the novel-version, Dr. Cheever's character is named Boyd Donovan, and is only loosely based on Dr. Cheever.) Unfortunately, Dr. Cheever does not appear in the piece of short creative nonfiction. Mostly because we didn't have the space. But also because the short piece is really about the beginnings of the Iris Garden, and the rest of the story is told later. So Dr. Cheever's part comes a bit after the idea for the garden was conceived.

Anyway, that picture is my favorite because it's so colorful and vivid. It really feels like the kind of place that Norma imagines it to be when she talks so excitedly about a place where students can sit and feel the beauty of nature around them. I love it.

I just wanted to share these pictures because they were (and will continue to be) such an influential part of my writing process. So for those of you who are critiquing and/or reading either the short creative nonfiction or the longer novel, I just wanted you to have a look at the place. And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, or have no desire to read either piece, I wanted you to be able to see some really beautiful pictures and get a glimpse of what I'm working on.

My Labor of (L... L...) Love

2010-02-05T22:58:00.000-07:00

I have been working for about six months on the same crocheting project. I can't seem to finish it, for some reason. Those of you familiar with quilting/crocheting, it's sort of like a granny square afghan, and it's for a friend of mine who recently had a very adorable baby. Beautiful. But lots of work.

I gave one to my cousin and her daughter for Christmas. This is what that one looked like (see left). They're little turtles (32 of them, each with six different pieces) and lilypads (96 full, 14 half). In the original blanket, which I gave to Kristopher and Andrea when they had Bailey, the lily pads were white and the turtles were all sorts of different colors.

Then, I made a blue and green one that was supposed to be for my cousin Kristy and her husband and new baby, but they moved from a pretty big house into a tiny house, and I don't want to burden them with more stuff than they can reasonably use, so I gave it to our college group at BUMC to auction off. (Oddly, my aunt and uncle ended up winning the bidding on it). But that one was beautiful. It had cream-colored lily pads like this one, then blue and green turtles. Very cute.

Okay, so I'm just going to paste a picture of it so you can see, because I was really excited about that one, too.

After that, I made the pink one, pictured above. And now, I'm working on a very beautiful one with all green lily pads, and brown/cyan turtles. I think this might be the one with the best-looking turtles. (I promise to post a picture when I'm done.)

Each one of those little lily pads takes me about 40 minutes to crochet. The halves take about 20 minutes. The turtles take about an hour each. Then, you sew them together, one row at a time, and then sew each of the rows together, hide all the ends, and edge about four rows around the whole blanket. All in all, it takes about 180 hours to make one blanket. That's over seven days of solid working (if you work 24 hours a day, which, let's face it, no one can). So, spread over about two months (which is usually about how long it takes me to do it when I'm really working on one, it's definitely do-able. Sit down to watch a basketball game, crochet. Watch a movie, crochet. Watch a TV show, crochet. It makes me very productive when I'm watching TV.

But I think this might be the last one I do for a very long time. Because it's consuming. When I'm working on a blanket, I take it with me, everywhere. I pack it all up with me, with all my needles and different colors of yarn and scissors and hooks. And I unpack it wherever I am. And every time I'm doing something idle, I pull it out and work on it.

Don't get me wrong, I love making them! And I really love giving them to people. Julia's daughter, Lizzie, when she opened hers, immediately latched on to it and dragged it around with her. I love that. But I get a little obsessive about it. Like I have to make one for everyone, and they have to be perfect and every one has to be different... etc. So this one will probably be my last one for awhile. But I'm excited to finish it and to share it with my friend and her baby, and for her to have something handmade.

And then, I think I'm sticking with socks for awhile. :-) Or scarves.

So here's my question: What craft have you been doing ever since you can remember that you just love? Or what craft did you previously do that you would love to pick up again?

Oh, and do you have any good sock patterns for crochet? ;-)

Why I Would Make a Great Sidekick

2010-02-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Buffy/Angel and/or other Paranormal Super Hero Types,

I am writing because I think I would make a kickass addition to your Scooby Gang. I have mad research skills. And I have a great memory. I also go for snacks well and don't mind being used as bait once in awhile. Yeah, so my roundhouse kick isn't up-to-snuff, but that's why I'm applying as a sidekick. All that other fancy stuff is your job. I'm just here to say that you saved the world and I tried not to get in the way, most times.

Anyway, if you ever find yourself short a sidekick, and need to find someone to sacrifice to the Master/Evil Law Firm/God of the Underworld/Head Vampire Dude/Chief Demon Chick.... I am your woman.

Also, I hear you have medical insurance and I'm out of a job. So if you wouldn't mind hurrying it up. I'm sure you have an apocalypse to prevent, and I'd like to help.

Love,
Becca

PS. I have my own car. And I'm available as the shy but cute love interest for your soon-to-be-dead villain characters (I suck at committed relationships anyway), although I would prefer not to date any demons if possible. Thanks!

A Hitler with a Heart of Gold

2010-02-03T16:51:00.002-07:00

Never try to go through the Canadian border if you don't have a job to come back to.

Or

Don't tell them you're unemployed.

I apparently made the mistake of being truthful with the border guards at the Sweetgrass crossing last week. They asked all the normal questions. How long would I be up for, did I have any firearms, was I bringing any fruits or vegetables with me. Not unlike getting into California.

Then, just as I was about to turn the car on and head about my business, the guy got a weird look on his face and said, "What do you do for a living that you can just go up and spend a month in Calgary?"

I hesitated. To tell the truth or to lie? Technically, I am unemployed, but I am still doing some part time work (once in a great while) as a consultant. Some of it is paid. Most of it is not, because people can't afford to pay for that stuff right now. Bottom line, I don't like talking about being unemployed. Mostly because it's complicated. I don't have a job. But partially on purpose. I'm trying to write a book. I want to have time to devote to it. I am looking for full-time jobs in Worship Arts, but that search is not going well. I decide there's nothing wrong with telling the truth. So I do.

"I'm unemployed."

You could just see the oh shit in his eyes. I swear. He hustled me inside, where an even older, meaner version waited to give me the third degree.

We went through it all again inside. Where was I going, who was I going to see, what was I going to do, for how long, what was the purpose of my visit, all that jazz. He wrote down every word I said.

Then he asked me whether I was currently looking for a job.

Again, I hesitated. Not because I was choosing whether or not to tell the truth. But because I was trying to figure out the shortest way to explain my predicament. I am unemployed, and I am looking for a job, but only very specific jobs, and only in very specific areas. I spend my days writing and getting my platform set up. And in writing workshops.

This time, he pounced on the hesitation. His brows narrowed, his little Hitler mustache furrowed, his eyes flashed. "Don't lie to me!" he screamed. The scream echoed across the giant, half-empty room. Those of the other customers who weren't already watching me now stared with frightened looks. I felt tears creep into my eyes.

"I wasn't trying to lie to you," I promised, trying not to let the tears slip onto my cheeks. "It's just complicated."

"It's not complicated!" he shouted again. "Either you are looking for work, or you're not. Do. Not. Lie. To. Me." This time, he ground his teeth. To get the point across, I guess.

"Fine. Yes, I am looking for work. But not in Canada. I'm writing a book," I said, speeding through every syllable and then holding back the tears.

He asked me several more, quite pointed questions about whether I rented or owned, how much money I had in my account, whether I have a major credit card or not, and then stared me down with beady, black eyes.

"Your ties to your country are tenuous, at best," he pronounced, sounding pleased with himself. "I shouldn't let you into the country at all. Go back and sit down. I'll call you back up when I've made my decision."

I stalked back, stunned, and sat down next to a tall, African man listening to his iPod in one ear. I could hear the heavy drums beating in the earphone that hung down. He gave me a sad smile, and started to say something to me.

"Do. Not. Speak. To. Anyone," said my smug little Nazi, eying me. Meanwhile, he proceeded to say to the guy sitting next to him--just loud enough so I could hear--that he wouldn't be letting me into the country today. He typed several things into the computer, studied my passport, printed something off, and called me back up, rudely.

"Get back up here, Miss," he said, putting a sarcastic emphasis on the title. Now what? Did he think I was a transvestite? Didn't believe I was really a woman? Didn't think I was really single? What? What is it, Hitler? What?

"I'm gonna cut you a break, today," he said, looking stern. "I should make you pack up and turn around and go back to your own country. But I won't." He proceeded to give me a 4-week visa, telling me I would have to check out of the country on the 26th or risk getting picked up by the cops. Despite how rude he had just been to me, I could have kissed his little Hitler face.

I refrained from making phone calls for quite awhile, just in case Hitler called out the satellites to monitor my calls. But seriously, I am not looking for work in Canada. My ties to my country may be "tenuous at best", but I am going home. And yes, sometimes people hesitate when they lie, but sometimes they just hesitate when they're trying to find a short way to explain things so they don't have to waste your time.

I know it's easy for me to get angry with this guy--who was just trying to do his job--because I know myself. I know I'm coming back. For crying out loud, I've been over the Canadian border probably 500 times (or more) in my life. I always came back before. Why would this time be any different?

I just want to write my book in peace in another country. Is that so bad?

I know the economy is making everyone crazy, and suspicious. And I know it's making people do desperate things. But not me.

I promise. :-)

My New Tuesday Gig

2010-01-29T07:55:00.001-07:00

On Tuesdays, I'm going to be over at Enduring Romance, reviewing books. I'll post a list of the books I'm going to be reading, but for now, I'm going to be doing mostly Inspirational Romance. I hope to read the next book in the "David's Wives" series when it comes out (on Tuesday), and maybe the new Dee Henderson. We shall see.

Anyway, come on over and check us out. It's a great blog for book reviews of romances of *all* kinds. Everything but horror and erotica. And there are some really excellent reviewers already writing there. So we'll see you on the flip side!

Link of the Week

2010-01-27T11:55:00.001-07:00

True Confessions: I listen to Relevant Radio almost exclusively these days.

I find it to be much more uplifting than K-love (or whatever it's called). And I do like NPR, but sometimes even I get overwhelmed by the leftist perspective. Not all the time. Just sometimes. Anyway, we have Catholic radio here in Bozeman, which I discovered a couple of years ago, and I really enjoy it. Mostly. (Like any radio station, there are people on it that I don't agree with, and sometimes I listen to it, sometimes I don't.)

Anyway, I really enjoy listening to Drew Mariani. He hosts a talk show where he discusses sort of whatever he wants. And I think he's pretty funny, and very insightful. I tend not to agree with some of his politics, and am often offended by his refusal to entertain opinions that are not his own. But I respect his earnestness, and I respect his faith a lot. I tend not to get up in arms with the topics he presents. But yesterday, he talked about something that I had to blog about.

There is an atheist anti-religion organization trying to prevent the US from issuing a commemorative stamp to honor Mother Theresa. If you want to read an article on the discussion, go here. They are, of course, citing the separation of Church and State, and the fact that Mother Theresa was famously anti-abortion, and used her platform to promote her belief that justice and compassion come from God. I should say, I am a proponent of the separation of Church and State myself. I'm not a "why isn't there more prayer in schools" or a "ten commandments on every bus" kind of person.

I get that this organization doesn't want religious figures to be part of anything. They're anti-religion. That makes sense. But when they use Katherine Hepburn as an example for someone who would be great on an American stamp (something I don't disagree with), and then quote her as saying that "the only thing I know is that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for other people", but then argue against commemorating Mother Theresa, who may have arguably been the most kind person on the planet during her lifetime, and the person who did the most for those that society thought didn't deserve it....? That just doesn't make sense to me. If Mother Theresa had taken a vocation of evangelism and spent her time in the slums of India trying to convert everyone to Christianity... then I could see their side. It'd be different if they wanted to make a stamp out of Jerry Fallwell, or Billy Graham, even. I can understand someone who is anti-religious wanting someone who is an evangelist not to be on their stamps.

But she wasn't. She believed in justice and equality and compassion and kindness. Yes, and Jesus. But you can't demote everyone who believes in Jesus to "not worthy because of their religion". Kindness isn't negated by believing in Jesus.

So, by that right, should we stop commemorating Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., as well? Should we stop commemorating Darwin (who was a Deist, if not a Christian)? What about Barack Obama? Is absolutely no one safe unless they agree with your perspective? Isn't that just as narrow-minded as they accuse Christians of being?

I have a lot of compassion for atheists, and sometimes, I would like to not believe in God so I could completely denounce organized religion, too. I think there are occasions when religion only exists for its own sake and the propagation of its own values--not God's. But I can't. And I'm sorry that I can't. But I can't get around for myself that I believe in God. And for right now, the only place for me to be is in church, no matter how flawed it is and no matter how uncomfortable I feel there. Still, I would like to think that there's some hope that someday we could all just be at peace.

I guess there's hope. But it's a very small fragment. And it makes me very sad.

Anyway, if you believe Mother Theresa was a person worth commemorating, go to the website and write a letter of support to the Postal Serivce, letting them know that you want to help our nation remember someone who helped and served the poorest of the poor, without any thought of herself. To me, that's something worth commemorating. No matter why she did it.

Today, I'm Procrastinating...

2010-01-26T18:05:00.002-07:00

Yup, you heard it here first. :-)

And for an hour, for an hour - I'm the best Rebecca in the world...

Which movie was this quote from?

Review: Michal (by Jill Eileen Smith)

2010-01-25T20:15:00.001-07:00

Michal
by Jill Eileen Smith (website)
Christian Fiction (Revell, March '09)
(My post about how to read my book reviews can be found here.)

Synopsis: A fictionalized version of the relationship between King David of Israel and his first wife, Michal--daughter of Saul. First in a trilogy of books (the second of which comes out next week) on the Wives of King David.

Heat Level:
On a scale of Vanilla to Dark Chocolate, I would put this in the French Vanilla category. Perhaps more sensuality than a typical inspy, but no sexuality. Not quite on the Redeeming Love level--that might be white chocolate--but definitely more overt sensuality (no sex, no body parts, but references to lust and sexuality which were completely appropriate) than a normal Christian novel. Very appropriate to its context, I thought.

Eye-Roll Factor: 5/10
Much better than I expected. I tend to give Inspys pretty low scores on the eye-rolling, more because of the way they write their interactions with God (shallow and perfunctory... no heart, nothing at stake). This, however, was much better. The interactions with God were natural (and some of them were even straight from the Bible, which I always appreciate). The romantic interactions were quite good, for the most part.

The Cosmo Factor: 21/25
Michal was an interesting heroine. She was by far the most interesting person in the book, and was what kept me reading for the most part. Since she was the main character, that's a good thing. If we were gonna go out for a drink (alcoholic or non), I would definitely sit down and chat with her. I would let her buy me a drink, or I would buy my own. And I would probably be interested in most of the conversation. I like that she has flaws, and I like that she wasn't the most beautiful woman in the book. She gets Cosmo (or Hot Cocoa) points for that.

The Dining Room to Bedroom Factor: 17/25 (BEWARE: SPOILERS in this section)
Okay, first of all, it's King David... so marvel at that. The guy is a legend. It's hard to write a legend. And I think Smith does it pretty well. But he is just not well-developed for a primary character. Granted, the story isn't from his perspective, but as the main hero (sort of), I expected more from King David. I really liked in him in the first section and a half, and then he just started to piss me off. SPOILERS. The guy is supposed to be in love with this woman. A love like no other. The love of his life. Then, when he abandons her to save himself, he abandons her for seventeen years! And he marries a bunch of other women in the midst of it. He turns into the bad version of himself. He is not a redeemable hero in this book. Biblically speaking, I'm not saying any of this is inaccurate (see the Braveheart Factor section). But don't write them as this "love of all loves" and then have him essentially bed the first woman he meets and forget all about the love of his life. It's just not realistic. I found myself disliking him more and more as the book wore on. His self-centeredness. His obsession with his kingship. He was not a likable guy by the end. But I adored him in the beginning. Otherwise, I probably would have given his character a very low score. We're talking single digits, here.

The Braveheart Factor: 9/10
Remember the historicity discussion? Well, this chick has done her homework. No fighting and speeding tickets for me over this book. Very accurate to the Biblical text (even included some biblical text). So why the -1, then? Well, here's the thing. (And this was my main issue with the book.) It was almost *too* historically accurate. Where it succeeded in being true-to-history, it failed in being a good story. When an author is trying so hard to stick to history that they sacrifice characterization, narrative flow, and sense of plot... it's time to take a step back from the purpose of the book and maybe try again. The weird time stuff is the main reason I probably won't recommend this book to anyone. But... the historical accuracy and otherwise pretty good writing will make me read the next book in the series.

The Nostalgia Re-Read Factor: 7/10
As I said in the previous section, the whole jumping time thing bothered me. Without giving away spoilers, the story jumps one year in one chapter, then two years the next chapter, then another year the next chapter, then three years, then another year. And it jumps five years right in the middle of a major romantic timeline. It was so frustrating. From a historical perspective, it almost would have been better to skip the 17 years altogether, instead of doing them one or two at a time, and then tell the whole story 17 years later. As it was, there was too much trying to stick to the exact verses of the Bible. But it was very accurate. And as a Seminary grad with a theology degree, I appreciate that. That alone will probably make me read it again. Although it will probably have to sit on my shelf for awhile.

The Skim Factor: 10/10
I didn't skim this one at all. For the first little bit, I was captivated by the love story. And then I was so frustrated by the quick passage of time, I couldn't skip anything. You skip a couple of paragraphs, and all of a sudden, everyone dies. Or ten years passes. I had to pay pretty close attention, even when I wanted to skip. And then once the time started passing, and the love story stopped, I was so mad, I kept reading just to get it to come back. Not a good reason for not-skimming. But still. I didn't skim. :-)

The Little People Factor: 7/10
In general, the minor characters were pretty well-developed. On the other hand, one of the little people who should have been more developed (if you read the book, it's Paltiel) really wasn't developed at all, apart from how much he wanted Michal. That was sort of frustrating. On the other hand, one of the minor characters that I didn't really like (like King Saul) were pretty well-done. And I loved Jonathan. He was fantastic.

Overall Evaluation: 76/100
This was not a romance novel. It is a historical Christian novel. So don't go into it expecting romance, even though it says "epic love story" on the back of the book. It's not a romance novel. There. Now, that being said, if you read it expecting to read the historical fiction version of one woman's life and transformation from a Christian perspective, you will get what you expect. The love story aspect is unfulfilling, twice-over (she loves two different men, and neither of them are ultimately satisfying). But she does get her happily-ever-after with God. So that's saying something. That being said, I think if you go into this book expecting a historical novel with some fast-forwarding, you'll enjoy it. And, of course, if you like very Biblically-accurate historical fiction, you'll probably enjoy it even more. The really positive thing, from a Christian perspective, is that she didn't try to Jesus-up the Old Testament. The spirituality was, I thought, appropriate for a Hebrew princess, and a Hebrew worldview circa 1000 BC. So all-in-all, that's what I would recommend. If you're looking for a Christian romance novel, look elsewhere. But if you're looking for accurate, well-written Biblical fiction, this is as good a place as any to get off the train.

Review: Avatar (the movie)

2010-01-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

For over a month, now, I've been holding out on seeing Avatar. All the hype just sorta bored me, and I didn't want to be a sheep, like everyone else.

But occasionally, there's a reason for the sheep-herding. And it's just possible that there is a reason for Avatar to have been as popular as it was.

Sure, I bought the hype that it was all about the special effects. I also bought the hype that it was all propoganda for the leftist-antimilitary-environmentalist agenda. I also bought the hype that it was just a war movie with a love story.

Realistically, all true.

But. It was also a really great movie. Is it going to be "the Star Wars of the millenial generation"? Will it be to today's teenagers what "Lord of the Rings" was to me? Hmm. Not sure. That might take me some time to figure out. But I did think that Avatar was worth it. I'd pay the $7 again. Heck, I might even pay $10. I actually thought the love story was well-done. The war was a little over-the-top, and the antimilitary stuff was way over-the-top. As the cousin of a very patriotic soldier, I take offense at that. Straw Man. And unnecessary.

But the environmentalist stuff was dead-on, and I loved the story. All-in-all, I think I really liked the movie. After I have a bit to recover from the whole intense experience, I will probably watch it again. I really liked the characters, and the scenery, and the development. I actually thought it was well-written and interesting. But it is also a war movie. And it will be hard for me to watch for the same reason that the third Star Wars is hard for me to watch. I don't like watching the Empire massacre the Ewoks and their environment. It makes me cry. But I do like it that the Empire loses in the end, of course, so I still watch the third Star Wars. In fact, I just watched it recently.

Anyway, if I had to put a number on it, I'd probably give it 8/10. -1 for cheap shots that weren't necessary. -1 for being too long. Otherwise, I thought it was a stunning movie, and I would definitely pay to see it again.

Oh, and everyone really is right. You do need to see it in the theatre. Yes. You do.

I'm Surprised You Didn't Know That...

2010-01-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

Anyone feel like taking a wild guess at this little NCAA trivia today?

What combination of three-current-NCAA-players (on the same team) has the highest PPG in the country right now?

I'll give you a clue... I saw them play at Madison Square Garden on December 19th, and you only get half credit if you only guess the team.

Lest Ye Be Judged...

2010-01-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

"Would you like to donate some money to our Haiti Relief Fund?" I was asked this morning, while checking out at the local Christian book store.

"No, I would not."

I swear, the guy looked at me like I wasn't a real Christian. He was probably about two seconds from saying, "Are you sure you're in the right store? This is a Christian store. Perhaps you didn't hear me... would you like to donate some money to our Haiti Relief Fund, because you're such a generous Christian person?"

I would have repeated myself. "No, I would not."

I'm sure I seem like a horrible, no-good, terrible, very-bad person (bad Christian) to these people. I'm sure that everyone who asks me thinks that I'm a horrible person for not wanting to give money to the crisis in Haiti. Or at least, they think I don't because I won't give to them.

I posted once already about the dangers of giving money in times of crisis, in an effort to encourage everyone to do their due diligence. And although I didn't have time to explain this to the nice man at the Family Christian Store, perhaps I should have. What would I have said to him?

"Yes, I do want to give (and have given) money to the Haiti Relief. But I would not like to give it to you because, as nice and caring as you seem, I just don't know where my money is going when I give it to you. It may very well be going to Haiti. I sure hope it is. But more important than looking generous is actually being generous, which requires more than just a casual nod at giving money to Haiti to make myself feel better about being a Christian."

Here's what I do know.

Most companies who accept donations for charity count the register-donations you give as part of their revenue, and then give the donations to the charity based on their tallies (and other procedures). Is it this universally true? No. But it is often true. I know that I don't want to give anyone an inflated bottom line. I want companies to be generous without my forcing them to be by giving them my money to give to someone else.

I do know that there are organizations with high overheads (like the Red Cross) that are doing good work and still need my money, but are getting a bad rap. I also know that there are organizations with high overheads that are fleecing me and my money isn't getting where it should go.

I know that the initial response to a crisis is to want to help... I see it everywhere. But if we just respond impulsively and do whatever we feel like, we may be doing more harm than good.

I know that my denomination has set up a special fund for Haitian Relief where 100% of my money goes directly to medical supplies, rescue efforts, food, water, and shelter. I also know that we have agencies within the country of Haiti that we are working with to most effectively distribute all the goods and moneys that are donated. So if I already know that there's a good chance for my money to be put to good use somewhere that's not the pliant register-worker, why would you treat me like a pariah? For all you know, I could be giving thousands of dollars to other charities.

Don't judge me.

Okay, so you caught me. That's what this is all about. I felt judged. An unfortunate consequence of being around Christians, sometimes, we still tend to be pretty judgey people. And since I didn't take the time to explain this to him, I guess I wanted to take the time to explain it to someone.

Perhaps I should be careful about my own judgments. I don't know what this man was thinking. And maybe I felt judged for good reason. I'm not sure. What I do know is that this crisis has proven to me beyond a doubt that there is important work still to be done in helping people know how to direct their generosity. And while it may feel good to give the nice girl at Safeway $1 for Muscular Dystrophy, it is just possible that there are better ways to direct your generosity. Our generosity.

Review: Obstacles Welcome (by Ralph de la Vega)

2010-01-19T15:19:00.001-07:00

I must admit, the cover art attracted me to this book. I like non-fiction books that don't scream at me. Very simple, geometric, blue. I like that. What frustrated me was that I expected this book to be something it is not. I expected a book on how to overcome obstacles and how to welcome adversity. What I got instead was a detailed look into the life of Ralph de la Vega. Inspiring man. Difficult life. Nothing at all like mine, so it's hard to draw immediate comparisons. And I will never, ever be that wealthy.

In short, the book is heavy on the "recounts his journey" side, and lighter on the "solid leadership lessons" side. If you're looking to read a book on Ralph de la Vega, this is the book for you. If you want a solid book on leadership (or even adversity), I would look elsewhere.

Obstacles Welcome would be a great resource for beginning leaders, for business leaders who want encouragement through difficult times, and for those who want to read a marginally well-written book by an inspiring person. I would not recommend this book for anyone looking for solid or scholarly leadership lessons (or widely-applicable leadership theory). There is no research or evidence in this book that I could find. It's all De La Vega's experience and the lessons he learned from his experience. There is some attempt at generalizing that (plenty of diagrams, etc.), but if you are looking for a solid leadership book with plenty of solid research and a wide range of opinions to solidify it, this is not the right book for you. In fact, there were only "Notes" in five of the 18 chapters, and most of them were about AT&T or citing Martin Luther King, Jr.

Now, I should say, I have a Master's Degree in Leadership. I planted a non-profit organization when I was 24 years old. I've had senior leadership positions as well as training in leadership, led staffs of people, and been led on staffs by other leaders. I consult nationally on leadership and training. I may not have led a multinational corporation too superstardom, but I feel at least marginally qualified to talk about what is and is not a good leadership book. While I really wanted to like this book (because de la Vega seems like such a good guy), I really would be hesitant about recommending this on a wide scale to too many people. I certainly would never use it in my own training. It just isn't solid enough. (If you want recommendations, I can give them, but I won't do that now... I don't think it's good form to recommend other books in the midst of a review... just my opinion.)

Each chapter ends with a page of "takeaway" messages, which I found very helpful. The messages themselves weren't always clearly communicated in the writing, but when I read them at the end of the chapter, it was often easier to see where the text had been heading. Again, it's very heavy on story and example, so some of the takeaways are more of a coalescing of the theme after the fact. Not a bad thing. Just good to know.

The one really outstanding concept he discusses is his idea of a success cycle. While it doesn't particularly apply to the "obstacles" in life, I thought that the idea of a circular pattern of success that you can enter (and that you have to keep re-entering) was very interesting. Again, while it wasn't researched (and is therefore really just his opinion), it is similar to other leadership models that I've seen before, but specifically applied to his experience. Then, he does draw out the personal application, for you personally to create a life plan that looks like this success cycle. I thought this was the best part of the book.

In the end, this is really a book *about* Ralph de la Vega--an inspiring leader who lived the American Dream. If you happen to follow his life's lessons and they work for you, great. But if you're looking for books on more widely-applicable leadership theory, I would look elsewhere.

**In the interest of full-disclosure and in compliance with FTC regulations, Thomas Nelson provided me with a free copy of this book in order to read and review it.

Death by Carrot

2010-01-18T12:53:00.002-07:00

If you're interested in my new "Amateur Author" blog, check out my latest post on love and relationships.

Mr. Hothouse Carrot

Mega Book Giveaway

2010-01-18T11:16:00.001-07:00

Check out the mega YA book giveaway over at Book Bound!

Giving to Haiti: How to Spot a Scam

2010-01-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

I just read a fantastic blog on how to spot a scam in this time of crisis. As many have been pointing out, we want to make sure our money gets to the right places, and is not used to line the pockets of criminals, especially in this country, if it can be helped. Here's a great (and quick) read on how to pick a charity through which to donate money.

Those of us who have church denominations, the advice I have heard is to give directly to your denominational relief agency (every denomination has one). I know especially (because I've done the research) that both the Catholic Relief Service, and the United Methodist Relief (UMCOR) have pretty fast and efficient systems, and because they are denominationally run, they don't have as much overhead in relief-based donations (as opposed to, say, required church dues or whatever they're called--can't think of the word--Per-Member Askings, that's it), and they don't need to spend as much on fundraising. I also know, from Katrina experience, that the ABC World Relief Office is doing important work, but I don't have first-hand knowledge of how they run, the way I do UMCOR and CRS. Anyway, just wanted to put that out there in case anyone is thinking of giving money.

I heard a great radio show about this the other day (and that's part of what this blog is about... the charitynavigator.org people). Just because a charity is small, or not well-known doesn't mean that it isn't worth your donations. Just do your research, and choose how to give, and give. There are plenty of charity watchdogs out there right now, that will help you decide what charities are legit and what are not. But if you do give, please do the work to research the organization you're giving to (especially if you've never given them money before). Don't let your money go to waste.

Happy Generosity and Compassion.

Have You Been Drinking that Kool-Aid Lately?

2010-01-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

When Twitter asks me if I really want to "Retweet to my followers?", why do I feel like I need to shower and then immediately resign the leadership of my cult?

Oh, Sweet Mystery of Life At Last I've Found Thee...

2010-01-17T16:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, if you'd said to me, "Let's watch a film about the sex trade in New York," my first instinct would not have been to suggest the movie I just watched. It wouldn't have been my second or third instinct, either. Mostly because I forgot that's what it was about.

See if you can guess it yourself. Here are a few clues.

* I rented it because it was about the Jazz Age, which is when my current WIP takes place.
* The sex trade is a major storyline, and takes up most of the second half of the film.
* Characters in the film are stereotypical for the time period, but would be considered offensive today.
* It's a musical, and one of the songs is the title of this post (sort of... it's a side-song).
* Oh, Pook!
* Best quote of the movie: "Operator, you have obviously never been in an Chinese Opium Den!"

Any guesses?

Blog Hop

2010-01-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post this in case any of my other crafty friends are interested in participating in a blog hop! If nothing else, you have to check the blogs out for their creative layouts alone. Fantastic!

I Met My True Love Reading a Kindle (A Review)

2010-01-17T12:41:00.002-07:00

For Christmas this year, I received a Kindle from Santa Claus (thanks, Mom & Dad--you thought I didn't know? Ha!) When I originally posted about it on The Silent Word, I hadn't yet used it to its fullest extent, and I promised a customer review at a later date. Here are my thoughts on the Kindle. (I should add, I did not receive any products from Amazon for this review. I just own a Kindle, and I'm reviewing it.)

First, the display is unbeatable. It reads (to the naked eye) just like the printed page. Even though I'd read that before (in the product description), I didn't really believe it. And I also didn't think it would be that big a deal. But after using the Adobe Reader on my computer for awhile and getting used to that, there really is a difference. It feels more like reading a page in a book, which I appreciate, because I do love books.

Second, with the leather fold-out cover, it feels and looks like a book as you pick it up to turn it on. I like that. I have since downloaded Kindle for my iPhone, and it's just not the same. (Of course, the display is smaller, so that's part of it, but really...) The act of opening it up is just so familiar. I like it.

It is a great pick-up line. Not that I've been picked up yet, but I can see how it would be a good in. I've had two kinds of approaches from strangers. There's the "I've always wanted one, can I look at it" approach, which is flattering. Then, there's the "I have one, don't you love it" approach, which builds comeraderie. If you're looking to get picked up in a bookstore, this is by far a less-intrusive pick-up than "what are you reading" or "haven't I seen you here before". So if you're looking to pick up (or be picked up by) some hot, literary types of whatever gender, I highly recommend this.

Unlike the iPod and other devices I've seen, your Kindle does not need to be connected to a computer to manage your account/books. That is definitely handy. In fact, the other day, I happened to be reading an email on someone else's computer and I turned on my Kindle and bought the recommended book directly from Amazon while sitting at someone else's computer in a coffee shop. It downloaded in less than a minute, and I started reading right there at the table. Phenomenal.

The selection of books available is amazing. The aforementioned book was not a book I expected to be available on Kindle. It was a specialty non-fiction, published in the 80s. And I still found it. In fact, I haven't gone looking for a Kindle book yet that I haven't been able to download. Granted, I've only had it for a month. And there are only 300,000 books available for Kindle, so I'm sure I'll eventually find one. But as of right now, I haven't found one.

Amazon regularly runs specials on discounted and free books. Granted, they're not the NYT Bestsellers (that I've seen), but I have been generally impressed with the quality of the free books I've downloaded. Plus, there are several classics for free. I downloaded "Sherlock Holmes", "Pride & Prejudice", "Moby Dick", "Dracula", and "Frankenstein" for free.

It might sound like there is no downside. Not true.

As much as I love it, I don't think it will ever replace books for me when it comes to non-fiction because I'm too much of a note-taker. And while you supposedly can make notes, it's just not the same.

It's difficult to navigate within the book. There are no page numbers (because you can change the font size, and that changes how many pages there are, etc), so there are "locations" instead. Most of the books I read have locations in the 1000 range. So if I can't remember which location, I have to flip back through the pages, or go to the table of contents and then flip to a specific chapter to find the sentence I was looking for that I've already read. Perhaps it's because I've always been able to remember things like where the words appeared on what page, or the page in relationship to the size of the book (i.e. it's in the first third or the first 20 pages, etc.), or even the specific page number as I turned it... but it's hard for me to navigate in these books when I'm looking for a specific line. It's great when you're just reading front to back and don't need to flip around, because turning the page is as easy as a click of a button. But it's just difficult, for me, when I need to go back and reread something, or I misread something two chapters ago, etc, because I'm not paying attention to the "locations". Not used to it yet. We'll see if it gets better.

When the wireless is left on, the battery time is lower. Granted, if I could remember to do this, I could go in and shut the wireless off, and then it would last longer, but I can't always remember. And there's no button to turn the wireless off... I have to go into the Menu and turn it off manually. Also, if you don't plug it in regularly, the battery drains from having the wireless on, even when you're not reading it (or else the pictures that save the screen while it's in off-mode take battery power), because I've gone from reading it one day to reading it the next and having the battery drain without the book being on. If I can remember to turn the wireless off, maybe that won't be a problem. Plus, if I charged it after each use, it wouldn't be a problem. But so far, it's been an issue for me.

There is no internal light. Just like a normal book (but unlike other electronic devices), it has no ambient light, so you can't read it in the dark. I suppose this is a contradiction, because I have been raving about how much I appreciate its' real-book-ish-ness. But since it is an electronic device, I guess I expect to be able to (like my computer, my iPod, my cel phone) use it in the dark. But you can't. Again, like a normal book, there must be light to read it. I discovered this because I took it to a movie once, intending to read my Kindle in the 25 minutes prior to the film starting, but there wasn't enough light in the theatre to read it. So I had to talk to people! Can you believe it??!?? Okay, but seriously, if this was a feature you were counting on, be aware.

All in all, though, I adore my Kindle. Definitely the best present I think I've ever gotten. I couldn't be happier with it. The downsides are really just learning curves for me: learning to plug it in, or turn off the wireless, or bring my own light.

I hope someday to be able to say that I met my true love reading a Kindle. Or at least write a book about it. :-)

Polka Your Eyes Out

2010-01-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

I have a soft spot in my heart for parodies. Yes, I listened to "Weird Al" a lot growing up. My family can tell funny stories later about the polka dancing. But I really enjoyed them. I think there's something extra creative about making fun of someone using their own work, but managing to make it sound so close to the real thing (cadence-wise, not vocally, although he often did that, too) that if you aren't paying attention, you might not know what he's saying.

I found the Christian equivalent to Weird Al several years ago. They're called "Apologetix", and they are hilarious. But not quite up to Weird Al's standards, honestly, because not only are they trying to sound like the artists and sort of make fun of them, but they're also trying to get theology in there.

Well, I have found their crowning jewel.

It's called "Bethlehemian Rhapsody", and it is pure genius. It's the story of David and Goliath set to the Queen song "Bohemian Rhapsody", and it really is a story. It's quite amazing.

We're gonna use it in Sunday School this morning, so I'll report back. But I encourage you all to take a look at it if you get a chance. You can see it on iTunes, you can look at the lyrics online. It's phenomenal.

It would make a *great* puppet opera.... :-)

Word Verification Balderdash

2010-01-15T18:30:00.003-07:00

If you've ever played Balderdash, you'll take to this right away.

I keep getting words for "Word Verification" on Blogger that sound like real word. For instance, today, I got "atifying", which is close to "gratifying", but far enough away that it's just funny.

Anyway, I have decided that I'm going to start playing Word Verification Balderdash from now on when I comment on Blogger blogs. Here is my entry for the day:

Atifying (v.): the act of creating an action out of random nouns objects by placing prepositions in front of them and hyphenating to make one word... Example: "She went at-chair all over his a**."

Anyone want to post theirs, either for "atifying", or for another WV, take a whack. My comments page is your blank page...

That's New to Me

2010-01-15T13:38:00.005-07:00

One of the items on my Day Zero list is to try three new restaurants in Bozeman. Having lived here for ten years, there aren't many I haven't tried.

Stop, let me rephrase that, there aren't many I haven't tried that aren't Mexican restaurants. I do not like Mexican food. All other ethnicities, I'm good with. I've had Ethiopian and Nepali, for crying out loud. But Mexican.... I don't know. There's something about it I just don't like.

So I had to work hard to find three places I could go where I wouldn't have to eat Mexican food. I kept asking for recommendations for people. But I have been everywhere. If only I'd started this list before the Thai restaurant opened, then I could count that. But I can't.

So I have to branch out.

I went to Soby's (which for those of you non-Bozemanites, is a *Mexican* cafe) with my mom last Saturday. They had a pleasant non-Mexican breakfast menu where I could get some food that wasn't greasy and cheesy and full of tortillas. (On a side note, why do tortillas always taste wet to me? even when they're grilled, it's like they just feel wet...)

On a scale of "yuck" to "wow", it was a solid "eh". Not good, not bad. So forgettable, in fact, that I had to go back and look up the name of the restaurant just to write about it. Granted, when you review a Mexican restaurant based on its non-Mexican food, that's like going to Paris and writing a review about the quality of their Chinese cuisine. I realize that. So take it for what it's worth.

But the bigger point is that I picked out two other non-Mexican restaurants to be my "newbies". And then, aside from the Mexican places I haven't been dragged to, there will be exactly two restaurants in town that I haven't been to. One is the Bozeman Grill (fake Bennigans), and the other is Ted's Montana Grill (which I refuse to support because it's Ted Turner).

So, without further ado, here are my choices for Bozeman restaurants that I've never tried that I will try:

Ferraro's
&
Weebee's

Heard great things about Weebee's, and not great things about Ferraro's. But I figured since Ferraro's is like a local establishment (and I've been avoiding it for ten years), I should give up the ghost and try it out.

After all, if I can eat Yak, I can eat anything, right?

69 Done

2010-01-12T12:03:00.003-07:00

This morning, I checked off #69 on my Day Zero list. What was #69, you may ask?

Query letter to an agent.

Last night, at Writer's Group, we workshop-ed my query letter, and they gave me some really great feedback about how to tighten it up. Since I've been reading that most authors get rejected for years before they ever get published, I figured I should get about the business of being rejected for the first time, at least.

Before you say, hey--that negative attitude will get you nowhere, I should explain. I don't feel negative about my novel, or my ability as a writer. In fact, if anything, I would say that what I feel is very connected and realistic. I am proud of what I sent out. I also know that the product you send in often has very little to do with whether you get picked up or not. The agent might not be accepting new authors. They may already have someone doing your particular area and have no desire to have two similar authors. They may not like what you write. That's all fine. I am learning that you have to have very thick skin to be good at this job. Part of having thick skin is recognizing that not everything said about your "work" is about you.

I think getting rejected in general is like this. It's rarely about you. Or at least it's rarely only about you. It's often a combination of timing, fit, and viability. Is it the right time for whatever you're offering? Do you and the person you're offering to have a good enough fit, whether the time is right, or not? And is it viable that your relationship can continue for a long time, given all the factors?

So it really isn't me. Or at least, it's not only me. :-)

Anyway, bring on the rejections. Someday, I will find the right fit and the right time and the right viability, and I'm willing to wait for that to happen, whether it happens today or not.

Edit Me

2010-01-11T18:06:00.002-07:00

If you ever get the chance to read the original manuscripts (pre-Pound) of T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land, I highly suggest you take it. I happen to have two copies, in fact, if you would like to borrow one. In them, you find a very different poet than the one in the published manuscript.

There are plenty of people who claim that Ezra Pound invented T.S. Eliot's voice. I like to believe that Pound, while a great poet, was a better editor than a poet. Ezra Pound, in my estimation, could see the raw talent in the young (twenty-something) man, and just edited away the white noise. This is perhaps something that all young writers need: editing.

While I have a lot of faith in my voice (or perhaps, given earlier posts, I should say that I have faith in my ability to write), I have been realizing lately how young a writer I really am. I am currently in two writing workshops with two very talented writers who also happen to be talented editors. (I don't mean Editors, I mean editors--those who can help to edit away the superfluous noise and find the voice underneath the voice.) I have submitted writing samples to both women and had them both edit the samples in similar ways. To me, this means that there is a voice down underneath the voice that I need to refine.

The interesting thing about T.S. Eliot is that his post-Waste-Land poetry tends to keep that edited voice--as though he learned from Pound to trust the bare essentials of his poetic license, and edit away everything else. I hope that I can learn similar lessons from my editors/teachers, as well as from any future persons who might edit my work. While I will never be truly proficient at editing my own work (I am convinced that outside eyes are often the best tool), I can already feel my voice amending because of what I have learned in a short couple of weeks. I feel like I'm back in my MFA program. And it feels great.

Day Zero Project: Update

2010-01-10T08:39:00.002-07:00

After starting the Day Zero Project on December 30th, I have either completed or began several items on the list. Just thought I'd do a little random blog about what I have done and how it's been for me. Perhaps not all of them, but the memorable ones. We shall see...

ACCOMPLISHED:

12. Rewatch all six Star Wars movies (6/6)

47. Buy a new ipod

48. Tell someone that I love them

64. Rewatch all six Harry Potter movies (6/6)

75. Contact Gallup about jobs

77. Write the Iris Garden story

92. Sell three of my current DVD series (3/3)

About #12: Horrifying experience to watch all these movies in order, because I started with Jar-Jar, which was a big mistake. I think this will be the last time I ever watch the prequels, maybe for the rest of my life. They are just *so* inferior. Watching the originals was, of course, gratifying. It made me want to listen to the Beatles Apple album. Nevermind.

About #75: This was a little depressing. Gallup no longer does "Strengths Coaching" per se, but rather have on-staff consultants who work with the new programs they are developing. I suppose, in a field that is so popular and so quickly changing, that is to be expected. But as someone who really enjoys working with Strengths, and finds it both rewarding and effective, it's difficult to watch them phase out the way they used to work. Then again, I haven't had any experience with their new programs, so I will just trust that they're also effectively utilizing the Strengths theories. I'm sure they are. It was just depressing to see the jobs that were open, and to be unqualified for all of them.

About #92: I did 92 so I could do 47, which has been great so far. Sold three sets of DVDs and got a new iPod. Good trade, I'd say. I'm sure the people who bought my TV-on-DVD will be very happy with their purchases, and I'm very happy to have my new iPod. Now I can relegate the broken one to just having whatever music it has, and don't have to try to hook it up to my computer. Ever. Again.

BEGAN:

25. Comment on 50 random blogs (10/50)

37. Write a novel

41. Give up soda for 3 months (1/93)

55. Attend church EVERY Sunday for a month (2/5)

65. Rewatch all seven seasons of Buffy (17/144)

70. Finish reading the (BBC) top 100 books of all time (73/100)

86. Keep my calendar up to date for six months (10/183)

88. Read all the books currently on my Kindle (9/27)

95. Read 10 new romance novels (1/10)

About #25: This has been a great experience. It has introduced me to some new blogs that I now enjoy reading regularly. I also appreciate that I want random people to stop by my blog, so I have to return the favor, as well.

About #37: This is actually a new novel that I had not begun before December 30th, so I'm quite excited about it. Unfortunately, right now, I'm spending most of my writing time trying to edit "Whispers", so I can query it, but I'm still excited about doing it whenever I can.

About #70: Obviously, I began this before December 30th, which is why I said "finish" instead of "read". Kristy and I have been working our way through this for a couple of months. I had read about 65 of them already, and she'd read some that I'd read, plus a few more, and now we're about eight books into the 35 that we had left. So far, it's been a lot of fun. Lots of British authors that I hadn't read before. And it introduced me to "Pillars of the Earth" which is now one of my favorite books of all time. So it's been a great experience. Maybe when we finish with the best of British, we'll move on to another list. MSU put out a good one about 10 years ago. Maybe we'll do that one. Lord knows I still have enough of those bookmarks to choke a horse...

About #95: I have been asking for recommendations of good romance novels from authors in my circle, and from blogs. I have a list of 10 that I want to get through rather quickly. So I thought I would start with 10 and then increase the number, depending on how long it took me to finish those. So far, I've finished one new one. Highland Dragon by Kimberly Killion, who is in my CHRW chapter. I think I have one other book by a CHRW member, and then a smattering of recommendations from some of them, and from some bloggers I read. Jude Deveraux, Johanna Lindsey, Lisa Kleypas... authors I'm familiar with. And then some I'm less familiar with. One of my goals for 2010 is to become more well-read in my chosen genre. (See previous post.)

NOTABLE STILL TO DO:

3. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years

6. Go vegetarian for a month (0/31)

8. Get a new tattoo

10. See 10 classic movies I've never seen (0/10)

30. Host a board game night

40. Read a book written by someone I disagree with

49. Read 10 Classic Books I've never read (0/10)

53. Give up sugar for a week (0/7)

54. Enter a writing contest

58. Visit Keely

60. Visit Maggie

69. Query my novel to an agent

80. Attend a free play

90. Make dinner for over 25 people

94. Read a recommended book

About #6: I have several friends who are either somewhat vegetarian (only eat meat on special occasions) or flat-out vegetarian, or even vegan. I have noticed a trend among them, that they are some of the healthiest people I know. I wanted to try to go vegetarian for a pre-determined period of time and see if I could do it. Even to be somewhat vegetarian. I still do have ideas about violence to animals, but my reserve is just not what I would like it to be. I figure if I treat it like an experiment, and there's a set beginning and ending, I'll do better. This one will probably not happen for awhile, and you can bet that I'll probably blog about it a lot while I'm doing it.

About #8: I have been wanting to get a tattoo for quite awhile now. I'm trying to set this as one of my goals so that I will have to think about it. I'm not as worried about the pain as I used to be, because I know there are places I can get it that will be less painful than others. But I'm still worried, of course. Not a pain fan. But maybe when I visit Keely (see #58), she can take me to a tattoo artist that she trusts, and I can get one. Now, to decide what I should get...

About #10: I have the 10 movies picked out. They're in my Netflix queue (which is small), so it'll take me awhile to get through them. But I'll probably blog about them when I do.

About #40: I am open to suggestions if anyone has any ideas. In fact, I may end up reading more than one. I have been having a conversation with a couple of good friends of mine who are conservative Republicans for quite awhile now, and I have realized recently how much I don't like the part of my personality that gets emotionally out of balance when I talk to people I don't agree with. So I am taking every opportunity I can to learn more about them and the reasons for why they think what they do, so that I can treat them with the respect they deserve, and treat their ideas with the kind of respect that I expect my ideas to be treated with. Again, open to suggestions for books. I'm afraid to go straight to Glenn Beck... I might have to work up to it...

About #49: Again, I have these picked out already. It's just a matter of getting to them. With all the other reading I have to do, I think it's going to take awhile. Many of them are on my Kindle already, so that'll be another thing I can check off, too. :-)

About #53: I'm going to start with just a week, but then I think I will probably increase it to a month if it goes well. I am just starting to realize how much control sugar has over my life. And I would like to be able to go without craving it. I know it'll be painful. But that's what change is all about, right? Pain now, for freedom later.

About #54: This will happen later this month. At least the first one will. I may end up increasing the number of expected entries if it goes well. (i.e. if I'm not too stressed out, and if I can manage to get the copy done.) Will let you know how this one (and the Golden Heart as well) goes.

About #60: I loved Boston. And she's not going to be there for much longer. I'd like to make it back out to Boston before she moves, and spend more time in Boston (instead of going to NYC). Also, her apartment was a GREAT place to get writing done. That would be nice.

About #69: Again, happening later this month. This is the purpose of the Big Edit.

About #80: Kathy C. is in a play at the Black Box this month, starting next weekend, and I hope to get to see it at least once. It's a one-act festival, so it should be really entertaining. I do enjoy one-acts. I need to get to see more theatre.

Well, those are my random thoughts for now. I'll update again later, after something important happens, or I have something to say. :-) Happy list-making, yourself!

Ouch! That Changed Me...

2010-01-10T08:01:00.003-07:00

There's an adage out there that goes something like this: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results." That sentence always interested me, because while it seems to make sense, on the surface, there are way too many people in the world who do just that to make it an actual mental disease.

In EBT, we have this tool called "the Cycle" where we cycle through our emotions and uncover our unrealistic expectations. Once that is finished, we go through a number of other steps, one of which is called "Essential Pain". If I stick to this new, realistic expectation, what will be the essential pain of life that I will have to face. In the iPhone app, they give you several suggestions, that I hadn't seen in my kit work, and one of them sort of threw me for a loop.

"I will have to change." The essential pain is, I cannot stay the same and expect to be different. How profound is that? Apparently, so profound that it had never before occurred to me. It was particularly profound, given the fact that one of my unrealistic expectations was around feeling like I wasn't getting enough work done, although I continue to follow my procrastinating patterns of previous behavior. In order for me to get out from underneath that, I have to stop my procrastinating patterns. I have to change. And, yes, that is painful.

As someone who is always encouraging change, and coaching people towards change (through Strengths, granted, not through EBT--I am a participant, not a coach of EBT), it is a little frightening to think of the change that needs to take place in my own life. And it does have to be change. I can't just "tweak" things, or "do it better tomorrow". There has to be a fundamental change. And that is *scary*. Of course, that's why it is called "essential pain". Because there is fear involved, and that's an essential pain emotion, especially when we consider that our brains are wired to find comfort and joy.

So while I know I am not insane, I have been subscribing to the "frustrated with status quo" part of the change process, but not the actual "adjust behavior accordingly" part. I suppose that is the pattern of my life. One I have to break. Is that essentially painful? Yes. Will it take a lot of work? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes.

Is it possible? Hmm. Yes.

Life as a Vampire

2010-01-08T19:56:00.007-07:00

"Each and every one of us is a vampire."

A line from the series, Moonlight, spoken by a dark and mysterious professor who uses vampiric cults to get into the pants of his coeds. The guy, a douche (that is the technical term), only pretends to be a vampire, but eventually has a run-in with a real vampire, and is confronted by the awful truth of the theories he espouses.

What interests me the most about this first episode is that line. Each of us is a vampire. His original point was that we eat blood in the womb, and hide from daylight. While technically true, I think there is a larger metaphor here that really interests me.

Vampire stories are famous for the "vampire-with-a-soul" angle. The "reformed bad guy", or the "killer on a leash" angle. Someone with a monster inside them who is able to contain that monster and live undisturbed as one of the blessed children of daylight. Hey, he might even have a chip on his shoulder, and decide to open a P.I. firm and save innocents from other evil monsters. Aaahh, Angel... okay, where was I?

The thing is, I think we all have a monster inside us--or a dark side. And on some level, we all survive off the energy of others--most of us don't literally drink blood. The Matrix calls humanity a virus... a force that consumes until there is nothing. Moonlight makes a point that is not so different. On a side note, I'm a little perturbed that I don't get the immortality, quick healing, and super-strength. Although I also don't have to be hunted by Buffy. That's nice.

But I think a lot of people would disagree with the fact that we all have a dark side. Too many people want to believe that we are, as a race, innately good. Most people don't want to admit that they have a dark side, let alone that they hide it (or are unaware of it). I think that Mick, the main character of Moonlight, explains this well when he tries to justify his lack of relationality over his vampire years. He says, "You can't bear the thought of seeing yourself as a monster in someone else's eyes."

That's it, isn't it? That's why we don't want to admit that there's a toothy, bumpy monster hidden inside all of us. Because we can't bear to see it reflected in other people. We can't bear to see what others will say when they see it. What's truly amazing is that for most of us, they really won't say anything. I have friends (and family) who have seen my dark side, some of them in all its glory, and they love me anyway. That's what love is about.

The difference between us and vampires is that when they show their true face in daylight, it cripples them and it kills them. When we show our true face in daylight, it heals us and it makes us free. Free to be seen as we are and loved anyway.

The Voices in My Head Said...

2010-01-07T09:20:00.006-07:00

Just read a fantastic article on the difference between genre and literary fiction. As a primarily literary writer for so many years, it was great for me to have to wrestle with this tension.

When I look at my writing, I realize that even when writing genre fiction, I still can't hide the literary voice I took so many years developing. It is the way I get to know my characters, the way I reveal my narrative point of view, the way I understand writing. It is what I know.

This explains why I feel schizophrenic when I read my manuscript.

The voice of a writer determines the pace of a novel. Literary fiction is meant to be heady, and that often means that the pace will be slower. More thought, more description, more freedom to exercise your creative voice. Romantic (and basically all other genre) fiction is meant to be entertaining, primarily. Specifically, in the case of romance, the main goal is to engage the emotions of the reader in the emotions of the hero/heroine, and their love story. In order to do that, the story has to move along quickly and focus primarily on the action.

My manuscript reads, at times, like a romance novel, and at times, like a literary novel. My character exposition is largely literary. The plot, and sometimes the way the plot moves, is largely genre. My dialogue can often be literary, and can get away from me. My beginnings are literary. My chapter endings are genre. It's interesting.

I'm very grateful for this workshop that I'm in, because it's really helping me to take a hard look at my writing. I never realized how weak my writing is (in the verbage sense), and how much more quickly it moves along when I tighten it up.

Maybe there is hope for me after all.

It's a Cloud, It's a Word... It's a Word Cloud

2010-01-05T10:40:00.003-07:00

In one of my writing workshops, we were doing an exercise on our most commonly used words. So I took my novel over to www.wordle.net and entered the text into the given box, and voila! A word cloud of all my most-used words.

Very interesting, I thought. It's good, of course, that the heroine's name is the biggest (or most-used) word. It's sort of hard to see all the tiny words in this picture, but if you want to go to Wordle and see it for yourself, here it is.

I find it interesting that apart from character names, some of the words I use most often are about "thinking" and "looking". When I am honest with myself, I probably overuse those two things. Instead of writing character action, I write character thoughts and observations quite a bit. That's probably something I need to work on.

Perhaps we'll cover that in the "show vs. tell" part of the workshop. That's the part I need the most, I think. Should be interesting, at the very least. Probably also helpful. That will be good.

Y'know what word isn't on here, which is strange given the amount of dialogue I write? "Said". Isn't that strange?

Life Without Credit

2010-01-03T19:33:00.005-07:00

At a time when every major publication seems to be running articles about credit cards and their potential effect on the American economy (and after closing a year when our economy crumbled beneath our feet), I feel a little personal reflection coming on. Some of you may know, as of 2009, I no longer carry any balances on my credit cards (they are all currently sitting at $0!). For a couple of years, I have been living on a budget and trying both to live without credit cards, and to save as much money as I can. It has been intense.

I have noticed, over the last year, that my spending habits have changed, a lot. For instance.

For several months, I have needed new bras. Instead of going out and putting a bunch of lingerie on my credit card (as I might have several years ago), I saved my money, and then happened to get a gift card for Christmas. So I bought everything I needed. I've had to wear some lingerie that was quote falling apart for a couple of months now, but tomorrow, I will have all new items and can finally throw away at least one of my bras that needs to hit the trash!

Last year, I planned a trip with one of my best friends and my sister to go to Disneyland. Instead of putting the car and the airline tickets and the hotel on my credit cards, I started saving money as soon as we decided to go on the trip (which sometimes meant going without certain things). Then, I did my research and found a low-priced hotel and a low-priced car and low-priced tickets (months ahead of time), and bought them all with cash. So when we went on the trip, I had a budget (and, the dreaded schedule, Keely...) for how much I wanted to spend, and used cash the whole time that I had put aside to spend there.

I have been meaning to replace both my dying iPod and my broken digital camera for over a year now (when both started to really crash). Then, on my trip to Boston/NYC (a gift, btw), I dropped my camera in Madison Square Garden, and the screen stopped working. And when I returned from Cincinnati (another gift, btw), my iPod stopped syncing with my computer. The iPod still runs, and the camera can download pictures from it, even though I can't see what I've taken. So I have been waiting to replace both until I can save up the money. Without a full-time job, that has been difficult. So I set a goal of downsizing some of my library.

I decided, instead of putting a new iPod and a new camera on my credit card, to try to sell some of the things I own in order to pay for the things I need. I found three sets of DVDs that I rarely watched and could sell. I also decided to sell my old iPod to a refurbisher who could fix it and resell it, and sold a few of my DS games that I no longer use. As of right now, I have enough to buy a new iPod, and potentially will have enough to buy a new camera as well. If not, perhaps I can wait for my birthday. It is a new experience for me.

A good experience. Different. Requires much more patience and planning than the way I used to live my life. Then again, there is a certain amount of pride involved, as well. Pride that I am able to show restraint and have patience. Of course, I am not always able to show this much restraint an patience, but at this point in my life, I'll take it where it comes.

Reading List 2010

2010-01-02T09:55:00.005-07:00

For several years (as I have blogged about before), I have been keeping track of the books I read every year. Nicole gave me (in about 2004) a book to track the books I've read and what my thoughts are about them. So I have been tracking them and have recently posted about my desire to read more fiction. So I'm doing just that. I have only read three or four nonfiction books since September (okay, maybe six or seven... but I'm much better). But I've read probably thirty fiction books since September 1st. Excellent.

On my Day Zero Project list, I have set goals both to read classics and contemporarily-written books. The BBC List, which Kristy & I are working our way through) is full of classics. I have a couple of lists of great romance novels that I've been working through, as well.

Here is a list of books I want to read in 2010:

* A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
* Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
* The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
* A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
* Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
* Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
* Mort, Terry Pratchett
* The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
* Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
* Perfume, Patrick Süskind
* Black Lyon, Jude Deveraux
* Devil's Bride, Stephanie Laurens
* Devil in Winter, Lisa Kleypas
* Once Upon a Knight, Jackie Ivie
* The Duke & I, Julia Quinn
* A Gentle Feuding, Johanna Lindsey
* A Knight's Vow, Lindsey Townsend
* Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake, Sarah MacLean
* Highland Warrior, Monica McCarty
* Highland Rebel, Judith James
* The Sensation, Rebecca Flanders
* Angel's Wings, Anne Stuart
* Songs in the Whirlwind, June Masters Bacher
* Water for Elephants, Sarah Gruen
* Highland Dragon, Kimberly Killion
* Sense and Sensibility and Seamonsters, Ben H. Winters
* Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris
* The Highlander's Touch, Karen Marie Moning
* Obstacles Welcome, Ralph De La Vega
* Ministries of Mercy, Timothy Keller

So if I get through those 30 books, I'll be through the 10 Romance novels, partway through the BBC list, and mostly done with the books on my Kindle. We shall see. Just wanted to get it down on paper so I'll have something to refer back to later. :-)

Happy reading to me in 2010.

The Silent Word

Trying to Pick a Headshot

Long Time, No... Uh... Write?

Review: Wonders Never Cease

My 2010 Reading List: Update

Life Gets In the Way

Thanks to Clint for This...

Big News

Googoo for Gaga

Young Singers Club: Glee

Happy Fourth of July

Big Changes (NEWS)

Contest Final

One Down, How Many To Go

Clash of the Titan-Gnomes

SF for Grads

Day Zero Project: Update

Who Can Afford That?

Review: Essentials for Life by Marcia Ford

Golden Heart Update

#1 Baby, Yeah!

You're Not From Around Here, Are Ya?

Review: Going Rogue by Sarah Palin

Final Four, Baby

Yes, I Know the Game

Please Pray

**Tear**

Gaelic Blessing for St. Pat's Day

Madness by Committee

An Era, Ended

Review: Ted's Montana Grill

Review: The Voice (New Testament)

Thoughts on Lent

Oh, Canada

Sugar Addicts Anonymous

Getting Lush

Why We Can't All Win Gold Medals

That One Beatles' Song

A Year Ago Today...

Are You Sirius?

The Iris Garden

My Labor of (L... L...) Love

Why I Would Make a Great Sidekick

A Hitler with a Heart of Gold

My New Tuesday Gig

Link of the Week

Today, I'm Procrastinating...

Review: Michal (by Jill Eileen Smith)

Review: Avatar (the movie)

I'm Surprised You Didn't Know That...

Lest Ye Be Judged...

Review: Obstacles Welcome (by Ralph de la Vega)

Death by Carrot

Mega Book Giveaway

Giving to Haiti: How to Spot a Scam

Have You Been Drinking that Kool-Aid Lately?

When Twitter asks me if I really want to "Retweet to my followers?", why do I feel like I need to shower and then immediately resign the leadership of my cult?

Oh, Sweet Mystery of Life At Last I've Found Thee...

Blog Hop

I Met My True Love Reading a Kindle (A Review)

Polka Your Eyes Out

Word Verification Balderdash

That's New to Me

69 Done

Edit Me

Day Zero Project: Update

Ouch! That Changed Me...

Life as a Vampire

The Voices in My Head Said...

It's a Cloud, It's a Word... It's a Word Cloud

Life Without Credit

Reading List 2010

Tear