That One Beatles' Song

Yesterday would have been Bryan's birthday. He would have been 26. It's still hard that he's gone, and sometimes it's still hard to see Lizzie toddling around and know that he's not here to see it, too.

Having my birthday the day before his will probably always mean that I'll mark his birthday. And that my birthday will always be a little bit sad because he's not around to celebrate his, too, along with mine.

I'm not one of those people who has an easy time saying, "oh, but it was God's will, so it'll all be fine." Particularly when it comes to Bryan's death. I still am not going to say that God did or didn't "take" Bryan out of this world. What I do know is that he's gone. And it's horribly unfair.

This is his second birthday that he's missed. And it's not fair. And I'll never be happy about it, or okay with it. And it sort of makes me a little bit mad that it doesn't hurt as much as it did last year. When someone you love dies, life isn't supposed to go on. But it does. Life will never, ever be the same. But it does go on.