Lest Ye Be Judged...

"Would you like to donate some money to our Haiti Relief Fund?" I was asked this morning, while checking out at the local Christian book store.

"No, I would not."

I swear, the guy looked at me like I wasn't a real Christian. He was probably about two seconds from saying, "Are you sure you're in the right store? This is a Christian store. Perhaps you didn't hear me... would you like to donate some money to our Haiti Relief Fund, because you're such a generous Christian person?"

I would have repeated myself. "No, I would not."

I'm sure I seem like a horrible, no-good, terrible, very-bad person (bad Christian) to these people. I'm sure that everyone who asks me thinks that I'm a horrible person for not wanting to give money to the crisis in Haiti. Or at least, they think I don't because I won't give to them.

I posted once already about the dangers of giving money in times of crisis, in an effort to encourage everyone to do their due diligence. And although I didn't have time to explain this to the nice man at the Family Christian Store, perhaps I should have. What would I have said to him?

"Yes, I do want to give (and have given) money to the Haiti Relief. But I would not like to give it to you because, as nice and caring as you seem, I just don't know where my money is going when I give it to you. It may very well be going to Haiti. I sure hope it is. But more important than looking generous is actually being generous, which requires more than just a casual nod at giving money to Haiti to make myself feel better about being a Christian."

Here's what I do know.

Most companies who accept donations for charity count the register-donations you give as part of their revenue, and then give the donations to the charity based on their tallies (and other procedures). Is it this universally true? No. But it is often true. I know that I don't want to give anyone an inflated bottom line. I want companies to be generous without my forcing them to be by giving them my money to give to someone else.

I do know that there are organizations with high overheads (like the Red Cross) that are doing good work and still need my money, but are getting a bad rap. I also know that there are organizations with high overheads that are fleecing me and my money isn't getting where it should go.

I know that the initial response to a crisis is to want to help... I see it everywhere. But if we just respond impulsively and do whatever we feel like, we may be doing more harm than good.

I know that my denomination has set up a special fund for Haitian Relief where 100% of my money goes directly to medical supplies, rescue efforts, food, water, and shelter. I also know that we have agencies within the country of Haiti that we are working with to most effectively distribute all the goods and moneys that are donated. So if I already know that there's a good chance for my money to be put to good use somewhere that's not the pliant register-worker, why would you treat me like a pariah? For all you know, I could be giving thousands of dollars to other charities.

Don't judge me.

Okay, so you caught me. That's what this is all about. I felt judged. An unfortunate consequence of being around Christians, sometimes, we still tend to be pretty judgey people. And since I didn't take the time to explain this to him, I guess I wanted to take the time to explain it to someone.

Perhaps I should be careful about my own judgments. I don't know what this man was thinking. And maybe I felt judged for good reason. I'm not sure. What I do know is that this crisis has proven to me beyond a doubt that there is important work still to be done in helping people know how to direct their generosity. And while it may feel good to give the nice girl at Safeway $1 for Muscular Dystrophy, it is just possible that there are better ways to direct your generosity. Our generosity.